Have you ever been really, truly happy? Yeah, me neither. And I’m totally fine with that because I know no one can be happy all the time. But we still all want as much happiness as we can get right? I mean who won’t want to be happy with their life?
Last year was my freshman year of college. It was great. I made amazing friends and made even better memories with them and I found a lot of happiness. Somewhere along the way, I realized that life is full of absolutes. That’s when I learned to embrace these absolutes as facts, and it lead to a happier me.
1. Boys are stupid. But they are also really cute. It’s a problem.
We’ve all had those late night talks with our best friends. One of those boyfriend-breakup-crying-3am kinds of talks. One night, after one of these talks, my best friend and I just decided to accept the stupidity that comes along with dating. The stupid fights you have over nothing and the misread actions are all part of it. They’re part of living and loving. You can’t avoid it because it’s part of the journey and part of the relationship so just take a breathe and know it’s okay to laugh it off and move on. Acknowledging that boys are stupidly cute can make the hard parts a little bit easier and the fun parts even more memorable.
2. The good guy isn’t always the right guy.
You need more in a relationship than niceness. You need some kind of spark or chemistry. So guys, you can do everything 100% right and still not be the right one for her. It’s all about feelings and emotions, so don’t keep dating that one guy just because he opens the car door for you and brings you flowers. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stay in a relationship with the jerk either. Niceness should be a first priority but it can’t be all that the relationship is based on. No one wants to be in a relationship that is “polite.” You need both the spark and the niceness.
3. Begging someone to stay is begging someone to love you.
You should never have to convince someone to love you. It should be freely given. Just like you should never have to convince them to stay. Whether it’s to stay for the night or to stay in your life in general. They should want to be near you and if they don’t, let them leave. They probably need to go. And who knows, they could come back and love you. But if you never let them go, they don’t have to opportunity to figure that out. And if they don’t come back, it wasn’t meant to be.
4. Everyone isn’t going to like you.
Your mom lied the first day of school when she said “don’t worry, everyone will love you.” Yep, that was a flat out lie (sorry mom). Not everyone will love you. You will have enemies who dislike you before they even know you. I don’t automatically like everyone I met, so how can I except everyone to like me? On a side note: just because they don’t like you doesn’t give you permission to hate them back. Kill them with kindness right?
5. But more importantly, There will be people that love you.
There will probably be more people that love you than ones that hate you. Keep them around. They are the ones that are truly going to help you in life. And to be honest they are the only ones that really matter. Why focus on the bad if you’re surrounded by the good? The ones that love you are the ones that will be there for you whenever you need them. They are the ones that will be there when you need a Starbucks run or will leave you surprise ice cream just because they know you’ve had a stressful week. They are the ones you want to spend your life hanging out with.
6. Everyone is never ever ever going to agree on one thing.
Whether it’s where to eat or the next presidential election, there will always be at least one person who doesn’t agree. So just try to embrace the disagreements, work for a compromise, or simply agree to disagree. Just recognize that people are different so they are going to have different opinions.
7. Your fairy tale isn’t going to be picture perfect.
Because you are a human. Not a cartoon. Sorry to break it to you, but your hair is never going to look like the Disney princess’. You’re not perfect and neither will be the guy you end up with. He might come with a crazy family or maybe you hate his best friend. But if he makes you as happy as Cinderella’s shoes made her, then you might just have the happily ever after you’ve been looking for.
8. You are going to be lost at some point in your life.
Go with it. Get so f*cking lost that when you look around all you see is new people, new buildings, or new trees. And then keep going. I’m a strong believer that getting lost leads to the best stories. But they also lead to some of the most life changing experiences, mainly because they happen accidentally. You have to be lost to get found, after all.
Life is a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, left and rights, and blurry and crystal clear paths. But some things just make living a little better. Happiness is one of those things. And you deserve to be happy. So let go of what you can’t change and work towards the happiness you want in life. Accept the absolutes in your life and learn to love them. Before you know it you’ll realize how much happier you really are. You might not be really, truly happy but at least it’s a step in the right direction.