Whether it’s a summer fling or a long-term relationship, breakups can bring out the absolute worst in people. If you’ve ever been broken up with by somebody you love, you know the rush of emotions that follows that horrible conversation: you feel heartbroken, angry and rejected. It’s hard to process what to feel and what to do. There is no right way to handle it all.
The next day you’re ugly crying in your bed going through old pictures of you and your ex, debating on whether you should call or text them to tell them how much they hurt you or how much you still love them.
Each day is a roller coaster. Some days you’ll feel everything at once. You’ll feel all the highs and all the lows. A breakup is truly an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy. It’s gut wrenching and makes you do and say things you know you’ll regret later. You feel all the most negative emotions when you go through a breakup. You’ll think you’ll never find anybody that compares to your ex, you’ll always be alone or you will always love the person who broke your heart.
The days post-breakup are the worst. You feel everything at once; you constantly have that aching feeling in the back of your throat like you could cry on command. Your skin feels too tight and your heart hurts constantly. You can’t sleep or eat because your stomach is in knots from all the rejection you feel. You can’t stop thinking about the person who broke your heart because you love them and still want to be with them.
The weeks post-breakup are always the most sporadic. Some days you’ll be fine and happy, you may not even think about your ex. Other days you’ll be on the floor crying over his Instagram profile. You miss him. The weeks post-breakup are when the feeling of missing him ache within your very bones.
The months post-breakup are when you begin to finally settle into your new routine. You don’t wake up with a good morning text or fall asleep to a good night phone call. You learn to live without the beautiful words and their touch. You have extreme highs where you feel as though you may never need another person again. But you also have the extreme lows where you think you still cannot live without the person who broke you so badly.
I promise you, though, that it gets better.
The days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months and the months turn into years and you begin to find yourself again. Take all the time you need and send all the crazy texts you want. Nobody can tell you how you should or shouldn’t act when you’ve been broken up with.
Maybe you guys get back together. Maybe you never speak again. Maybe you find somebody new, and maybe they do too.
Don’t let your breakup make you bitter and cold. It’s going to hurt so much that it may even seem unbearable. You’ll have good days and bad days and everything in between. You’ll get to know a side of the person who broke your heart that you never knew. You’ll spend a lot of days and nights with a silent phone. You might even spend weeks without that person. Remember the love and remember the freckles and remember the words that made you fall so hard.
Don’t be callous. Be selfish, but don’t be the worst version of yourself. You’re allowed to be sad and mad and all of the emotions that follow. But don’t let your broken heart lead you to bad decisions. Be independent and bold.
I hope the person who breaks your heart realizes what they took for granted, what they lost and what they might not ever have again. I hope you heal and transform and become a butterfly out of this emotional ride.
Because you are beautiful and deserve love, no matter what that jerk says.