There aren’t many people in the world who you would do just about anything for. The people who are special enough to have this kind of status; they are your family, no matter what. When someone hurts your people, your family, it’s almost as if they’re taking a stab at you. When someone breaks their heart, they break your heart.
Watching someone you love get hurt is one of the most difficult experiences that exist, because there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it from happening. You want to protect them, to shield them from all the pain but you simply can’t. You want to tell them how someday all of this won’t hurt so much.
We have all been through it, or someday will go through it. Here are 5 things you want to say to them, but couldn’t at the time.
- I’m sorry. I’m sorry that someone you chose to let in, someone you chose to deeply care about, couldn’t give you the same in return. I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you from him. I’m sorry that I can’t take the pain that you feel right now away. I’m sorry that some people are just plain shitty and I’m sorry that he turned out to be one of them.
- I am here. You have been there for me when I needed you the most, and I hope you don’t doubt that I will be here every single step of the way in return. You can call me in the middle of the night for no reason at all. You can text me seven paragraphs about why you’re upset, or screenshots that make you angry. There is no time limit to your pain, so there is no time limit to my presence. I was here before him and I will be here long after his memory fades.
- He’s not worth it. Your heart may be slowly cracking into pieces, or simply shattered beyond what feels like repair. You may think that he is the best person you’ve ever known, but really, he isn’t. He’s not worth your time or your energy, because anyone who couldn’t see the value in you, clearly isn’t worth it. This is the nice way of me seeing that I hate the guy, that while you cry next to me, I’m mentally calling him every bad name I can think of. He simply isn’t worth the tears.
- You deserve the world! Despite how he is making you feel right now, you deserve the entire world. You are smart. You are kind. You are beautiful. All of the things that he couldn’t see, that he forgot to look for. Any person would be beyond lucky to have someone like you in their life. I hope that even though you can’t see that now, that someday you will begin to see that again.
- F*ck him. At a certain point in time, you stop hoping or thinking that he’s going to come put the pieces back together for you. Us, though, the people that care about you, we figured this out a long time ago, and the second we did, we instantly thought F*ck him. I can’t wait until the day you say it too.
It’s not easy to maneuver your way through a conversation with someone who has their heart broken. You don’t want to say or do the wrong things. You don’t want to tell them things they aren’t ready to hear, but you also don’t want to see them sitting there helplessly.
Sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all, but to simply listen and console them. To show up with their favorite food or a bottle of wine and make sure they get out of the house. However, just because we keep our mouths shut, does not mean we have nothing to say. It simply means we love you too much to say it.