Friends with Benefits are so damn common these days. It’s hard to find a man who wants something more than just a dump and chase. All women are wondering why the heck no one wants to date us and rather have someone use us for our bodies. And when a bunch of women are wondering what the hell goes on inside a man’s head, we need to get answers.
So using my journalistic skills I learned about back in college I did some digging and found four amazing men who were willing to sit down for an interview and talk about why men prefer friends with benefits over relationships. Each man was extremely different from the other, so let me give a quick idea of what they’re like since it might show you why they answered the way they did.
Guy A: 24, sensitive, considerate and has only had two FWB’s.
Guy B: 26, former party boy, confident, selfish, yet charming.
Guy C: 21, the most laid back individual I have ever met, respectful and blunt.
Question #1: Why would you rather a friend with benefits over a relationship?
Guy A: Because I get lonely and needy sometimes where I want to be fulfilled. It fills a void really. And I’m used to relationships where I get that.
Guy B: I’d rather have one because you get amazing sex without the emotion. And can have whenever you want and still pursue other girls.
Guy C: Doesn’t involve feelings, simpler, probably cheaper… And probably more exciting I guess.
Question #2: Do you believe it’s fair to the girl if you know she wants more to continue to pursue a FWB? If yes, why do it?
Guy A: Absolutely not. It’s extremely selfish for someone to do that to another, especially knowing their intentions and that their heart’s on the line. I could never be responsible for that kind of heartbreak on someone else, and I’d feel way too guilty after seeing her naked, let alone having sex after.
Guy B: Yes and no. If she knows I’m still doing it, she’s doing that to herself. I can’t control the emotional turmoil she puts herself in. My friends would agree with me.
Guy C: No I don’t. I’m not a dick.
Question #3: Has your opinion of a FWB changed over the years? If so, how?
Guy A: Not really, everything’s the same. I just learned to treat her with more respect and have an open friendship with it.
Guy B: No not really. All the ones I’ve had previously (because now I’m with someone serious) the idea hasn’t changed. Open contact, you do what you want, I do what I want. But when it’s time to bang it’s time to bang.
Guy C: No, why would it?
Question #4: Do you ever feel guilty about using someone for just sex?
Guy A: All the time.
Guy B: Nah, not really. It was fun and it worked out for the best.
Guy C: Eventually yes because I’m using them.
Question #5: Do you usually have more than one girl on the go at a time (such as one consistent girl, a few random hookups and a very occasional girl every few weeks or so)?
Guy A: I’m a one girl at a time kind of guy. The risk of diseases is too high!
Guy B: Yeah, sometimes. Maybe have a three or four at a time. Not doing it together, *chuckles* although I wish it was.
Guy C: Only one.
Question #6: Did your friends ever influence you to get into a casual/sexual relationship?
Guy A: As a teenager yes but I didn’t understand why until I came to that conclusion myself.
Guy B: Not really, it was all my choice.
Guy C: Never!
Question #7: Do you believe that your feelings can change with a FWB and eventually start dating?
Guy A: Absolutely, and I can see why girls get that impression so often, especially when there’s an actual friendship involved.
Guy B: I did once, but it was a huge mistake. We were better off hooking up.
Guy C: Yeah eventually I guess. Never happened to me, though.
Question #8: What do you feel makes someone a good FWB?
Guy A: Someone who can communicate and you can have a friendship with.
Guy B: They understand it’s nothing serious and just hook up sex.
Guy C: They have to be open, exciting and fun.
Question #9: How is fuck buddy sex different than relationship sex, and hook up sex?
Guy A: Relationship sex gets old really fast, hook up sex is usually animalistic and sloppy, where as FWB is spur of the moment is fun, playful and you can be experimental which I love.
Guy B: FWB sex is just spur of the moment and more crazy usually. And there’s no cuddling or emotion in the end.
Guy C: I don’t notice a difference.
Question #10: Why do you feel most friend with benefits end?/How do you end it?
Guy A: Someone either finds someone else they would rather date, or life circumstances pull you apart. I end it by having a conversation and letting her know respectfully that I’ve found someone I want to pursue so she doesn’t wonder why I was different or why I ghosted her, and have her doubt herself. She doesn’t deserve that.
Guy B: Usually because it got boring, got a different one, or wanted a relationship with each other or someone else. I just say “thanks, it’s been fun” or I just ghost her.
Guy C: I just stop talking to them only if I want to wash my hands full from them. I feel like most people leave because they just don’t want it anymore for whatever personal reasons.
So as we can see, not all guys are dogs, but some still portray themselves as exactly that. Clearly after seeing their responses that all men are different but it doesn’t appear that they really want anything more than just hooking up. Even a friendship might actually be off the table. This hookup culture that’s taken the world by storm might be leaving lovers in the dust, but it might not be all that terrible if even these guys don’t seem like total bedroom criminals.
Featured Image via couple goals