Swipe On: A Letter To The Hookup Generation

Apparently, a fling is the way to go. Who needs to have a passionate relationship when you could have a moment of intense pleasure? Why learn about and grow with somebody when you could just have a quickie with them and never see them again? Well, let’s give a big hello to the hookup generation which I am a part of.

Am I saying that hooking up is a bad thing? Not necessarily. I am not going to tell somebody who enjoys hooking up periodically, sparingly, or on a day-to-day basis that hooking up is wrong because simply, that is not my place to judge. But, still, it is hard not to notice how hooking up has become such an integral part of this generation.

So many of us have forgotten what a relationship feels like; we don’t even know how to go on a proper date. We forget how to get to know somebody and have a caring capacity for somebody other than ourselves. We get so tied up in this cycle of never-ending casual good times. People are so wrapped up in finding their hookups rather than a significant other. You can go onto many college student’s phones and find the app Tinder. According to Tinder’s website, the purpose of Tinder is “Friends, dates, relationships, and everything in between.” I can only assume that “everything is between” means hooking up or something spontaneous and short lasting.

I have been in long-term relationships before. I remember the giddy feelings every time that I would see the guy that I liked and the feelings of pleasure just from getting to know him. He would ask me for my number, we would get to know each other, and then he would ask me out. Soon, we would be in a relationship going on dates, growing as a couple, and falling for each other. I am not trying to imply that this doesn’t happen anymore because it certainly does. But, there are a lot less giddy feelings and hearts skipping beats for another person than there used to be.

In my experiences and my friend’s experiences, the most common thing that we hear is, “so…do you like want to hookup?” or “I am just looking for a hookup…not a relationship.”

Whether your definition of hookup is a kiss, making out, or sex, there is still the same underlying meaning: there are most likely little to no mutual feelings involved in the act. Why settle into something where you must invest your emotions when things can be less complicated and you get to have a little fun along the way?

Many of us don’t want to be in anything serious, and that is totally okay. For some, our future is our number one priority, and we want to find ourselves, so we don’t need somebody else to accomplish that. Others don’t want anything serious because like I said before, they just want a fling: something fun that they don’t have to wrap their heads around.

Then, there are the other’s like me.

I am tired of these short spurs of excitement with a guy that I don’t care about one bit; I want to have those same giddy feelings that I did in the past and take the time to develop a relationship with somebody where there are feelings slowly but surely. I don’t want to only feel a second of joy, but I want to share a bond of dedication, devotion, and warmth with somebody who feels the same way that I do. Am I saying I am looking for marriage right now? Heck no. I want to live my life. All I am saying is that I don’t want to be apart of an abrupt hookup where I barely know the guy, or don’t even know his name. Is this too much to ask for?

I think that the hookup generation is too nervous to commit to a relationship because you will only be young once, so why not live it up? I mean, I am pretty sure that most people will want to meet the love of their lives one day whether they choose to admit it now or not. So, why don’t we drift away from our cruddy dating habits, and embrace our inner romantics.

Originally published on University Primetime

Featured image via Olya Kobruseva on Pexels


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