There are a hundred thoughts that go through your head when you’re out drinking. But most of the time, it’s only for a few hours after work or late on a weekend night. Day drinking, on the other hand, comes with a whole new level of absurd thoughts and an even higher level of struggles. Like so,
1. “Let’s get this party started!”
You are bright eyed and bushy tailed when the dawn breaks! You go hard, and you go hard fast. Mixed drinks, shots, no water, balls to the wall! The day is young!!
2. “I need food.”
We all eat some junk food at the end of a night out. Now, those late night snacks become brunch, then lunch, then early dinner, with some fast food in between. Soaking up the booze just so that you can drink more is key to making it through the day.
3. “I’m so full.”
Beers. They are good, but they are filling. Am I right?
4. “I have to pee so bad.”
But you can’t break the seal! And the line is outrageous. Making friends in bathroom lines is fun and all but you don’t want to leave the party for that long.
5. “Why did I break the seal?”
You caved. The girls in the bathroom were so sweet and gave you the name of their hair stylist. But now every 10 minutes you’re going back there.
6. “I feel like it’s 2 AM.”
Yet it is still daylight. How does the world turn? What day is it? Is there a siesta happening soon?
7. “I think I threw up my birth control.”
Anything you put in your body is now in the toilet. No one in the bathroom is trying to be your friend right now. You don’t even want to be your friend right now.
8. “Let’s get this party started!”
Round 2 has begun! Boot and rally aren’t phrases for nothing! It’s like you’re a brand new woman now that you’ve chugged some water and begged the bartender for a pack of the soup crackers.
9. “I look fabulous in this selfie”
Or so you think. Tomorrow morning when you open Instagram, you’re going to regret posting that.
10. “I’m never drinking again”
But then, in a couple of days, it’s Wine Wednesday. Then it’s the weekend all over again and the thoughts start flooding back. Stock your house with Gatorade and have your takeout menus ready on the bedside table. Party on!