We all have a type, but what if you find something wrong in everyone? You’ve heard your best friend ramble on about how her latest fling has something wrong with him – too short, too tall, his smile, his eyes, the way he talks. The list goes on. Any reason seems to be enough to call it quits. Why do so many of us simply call it quits, just because it’s hard? He or she could be the most perfect person for us if we put the effort into it, but we leave, every time there’s a subtle sign of difficulty.
Why do we do that?
Giving up before giving it a fighting chance is only setting you up for guaranteed failure. He or she could be your soulmate but instead of finding out, we find a hardship and run. Don’t get me wrong, noticing red flags are important, but erecting a flag and painting it red is something we’re all guilty of. We want instant gratification, but news flash; Relationships don’t come with overnight shipping and a big red bow.
There are many reasons why we call it quits on relationships. Some may be valid while others are seriously nothing but cop-outs. Let’s take a gander at 5 reasons why we’re so quick to visit Splitsville:
1. The fairytale we call media.
Movies make us believe that we can fall in love, have a fight, makeup, get married, and have children all within a two-hour time span. The Notebook gives us every reason to believe that this timeline can be a reality. Although to be fair, Ross and Rachel took ten seasons of Friends to fall in love. So, there’s that.
2. Hookup culture.
Breakups are glorified and Tinder is all the rage. It’s a culture that survives off us staying single and always ready to mingle. The Hookup culture and our lust to fit in allow for an easy excuse as to why our Mr. Might-Be-Right becomes our Mr. Right-For-Tonight.
3. The struggle of growing up.
Growing up is tricky. One minute you’re learning how to tie your shoes, the next you’re questioning why all your friends are getting married and you’re still struggling with 2nd year calculus. Maybe we make it hard on ourselves because we don’t want to admit that a guy in front of us may actually be the one. If we find ‘the one’ while young, we have an impression that the fun partying days are over. Settling down and setting up shop with someone can be terrifying, or it could be the best decision you’ve ever made.
4. Being too cautious.
I’ve been one to set up brick walls and not let people in. I’ve also been the one to stick around for far too long. Lying to ourselves about why it won’t work is just as bad as lying about why it will. In a world that revolves around our ego and less on the truth, we feel the pressing need to kick our latest fling to the curb, put on stilettos, and party.
We all have a past that includes things we are not nearly proud of. Entering a new relationship and airing out our dirty laundry is nerve-wracking and downright embarrassing. The past can leave us feeling emotionally unavailable. If we are too wrapped up in a previous relationship, we may find ourselves comparing our ex with our possible next. That’s not too fair. Being in a vulnerable state and letting someone see the scars of your past can be worth it in the long run if you’re willing to take a leap of faith.
Come on, ladies. Each of us owe it to ourselves to invest some good ole’ hard work into a relationship. It’s easy to dismiss all thoughts of relationships, but trust me; it’s so worth it to stick it out. I took a leap of faith when I met my boyfriend and I haven’t looked back since.
We still both have moments where we are fearful of being so vulnerable, but we both know at the end of the day that we can trust each other. If you go looking for trouble, you’ll find it. An individual will never measure up to exactly what you want. It’s about compromise. Presume good until proven wrong, and if you argue over the small stuff, don’t sweat it.