30 Thoughts Every Drunk Girl Has Leaving The Bar

Walking to the bar gives you all types of feels; excitement, hopefulness, wonder, energy. The walk back from the bar, however, can give you a whole new set of emotions. Drama when we’re sober is one thing. The amount of flare we have when under the influence has us feelings all types of feels! And those emotions come in waves, quite quickly, and even more randomly.

The first wave: positivity

  1. That was so great. Life is fun. I’m so lucky to be alive!
  2. My friends were so fun tonight! I have the best friends.
  3. Dancing was great! I killed it when Queen Bey came on. That guy was into it.
  4. I looked so cute! I only got a little sweaty so my hair is probably still perfect and frizz free.

The second wave: hooking up

  1. I should text the guy I met. I wonder if I gave him my number or if he gave me his. I need to remember his name so I can scroll to that letter.
  2. How about James? We’re sort of on speaking terms right now. I think. *texts the ex* WHO SAYS ‘hey’? CAN’T I GET AN EMOJI? WE DATED FOR 8 MONTHS? I’m so done with him.
  3. Maybe Sam is still out. I live between him and the bar. He would stop for a quickie.
  4. Oh! I must have given that guy my number because I don’t recognize this one! He called me sweet thing. Is that a cute nickname? Was he cute?

The third wave: hunger

  1. I think I’m hungry. For pizza. Or chicken tenders. Both!
  2. Isn’t it weird that we give strange people our address to deliver us food? What if they decide to stay to share? I don’t like to share.
  3. Am I going towards the 24 hour 7/11? I should get a snack for the rest of the walk.

The fourth wave: exhaustion

  1. I have been walking for ever.
  2. I swear the bar used to be so close.
  3. Am I going the wrong way? I should be home by now.
  4. I would never walk this much to go somewhere.
  5. My feet are broken. Shoes were a poor choice. Why do we wear shoes?

The fifth wave: assessment

  1. I only had… How many drinks did I have?
  2. Am I the most drunk of my friends? Are they mad? Oh my god they hate me.
  3. I should call them to say sorry. Is it too late now to say sorry?!

The sixth wave: fear

  1. Am I about to die? What was that rustling sound?
  2. There’s about to be a drive by shooting I can feel it.
  3. I’m literally so lost.
  4. I’m never going to wake up tomorrow.
  5. I’m going to be so hungover. I’m going to be hungover until Tuesday.
  6. Am I about to throw up? Is there a bush or trash can near here?
  7. WHERE AM I? WHERE CAN I GET WATER? IS THIS A DESERT?

The seventh wave: elation

  1. THANK YOU BABY JESUS FOR GETTING ME TO MY STREET!
  2. I can’t wait to cuddle my puppy. I’m so glad no one answered my booty call texts.
  3. Wearing leggings out was the best choice. Leggings are so comfy for sleeping!
  4. Best night ever!

These waves are quite fluid, as are the drinks that get us to them, and they may repeat themselves as the walk continues or if distractions on the long road occur. But at least us ladies are never bored! Most nights, we’re either with a new partner or are sharing these thoughts out loud with our pals. For the time we have to keep our thoughts to ourselves, we’re really great company. We keep ourselves entertained as we travel. And since we send so many texts, it’s definitely easy to track us by GPS in case an emergency happens.

Featured Image Via Katty U.

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