Blame It On The Goose: 9 Signs You Got Way Too Drunk Last Night

It happens to the best of us – sometimes on purpose, and other times, you don’t know even remotely close to how it happened. You may have had a long week and you felt like you needed to let loose, or maybe you meant to have just a drink or two and that somehow turned into about twenty shots. One thing is true – you’re probably paying for it the morning after.

Here are 9 signs that you got way too drunk last night:

  1. That headache
    That pounding headache you experience is the number one tell-tale sign that the day is going to suck. Every move you make feels like it’s a full body workout. Even if you don’t move, your head hurts like crazy so staying in bed seems like the best option.
  2. You can’t sleep past 8 am.
    You’re tired, you have a headache, and you feel like death, but for some godforsaken reason – your body will not let you sleep in. You’re up at 7 AM or worse, and your body can’t let you fall into a deep sleep. You’ll drift in and out of consciousness but you won’t actually be able to get a full rest.
  3. The after-effects.
    Many things happen when you’re hungover. If you’re lucky, the headache and sore body are the only after effects. Let’s be real though – if you went too hard, you’re probably praying to the porcelain gods for it to all stop so you can just lay in bed again.
  4. “WTF happened last night?”
    If you’re asking this question, and can’t figure out the answer within ten minutes of waking up…you know you went too hard last night. If your friends are also not answering your calls, you probably f*cked up more than you think.
  5. “Where am I?”
    You have no idea where you are, or no idea how you got home. At least you woke up in a bed, and not a jail cell right? If you’re lucky, the mysterious place you’re at is just a friend’s house and if not – I mean, it’s just another notch on your bedpost?
  6. “Where is my shit?”
    You started off the night with an iPhone, two pieces of ID, cash, and your keys…where that stuff ended at the end of the night is a mystery to you. If you’re lucky, they’re just misplaced around your house. Thank goodness for Find my iPhone, just hope that the person who finds my sh*t is nice enough to give everything back.
    You barely drink water to begin with…BUT the morning after, you’re gulping that bottle of water just as fast as you gulped down that bottle of vodka the night before. No matter how much water you drink, it doesn’t seem enough to keep you hydrated.
  8. Mass Text: “I’m Sorry”
    You finally remember what happened last night, and it dawns on you that you were a complete shitshow. If you have to mass text all your friends/significant other “I’m sorry, please forgive me” texts…you fucked up.
  9. “I literally can’t”
    As in you literally can’t do anything that requires any effort, or pants. It all just seems too much for you to handle, even the computer screen seems too bright to watch Netflix. The only way to spend this day is in your dark room in bed with food and water beside you. If you absolutely have to leave the house, bless anyone who crosses your path.

While it may suck to wake up the next day, the night was probably one for the books. Even if you don’t remember it…the pictures will help you relive it all over again…for the rest of your life…you’ll never live it down. As much as you probably want to, don’t regret these nights. These are the nights you will remember forever, and the nights that you and your friends will talk about over brunch while your kids are at daycare.

Featured Image via Late Night Partying.


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