The question, “Why am I so tight?” is fairly common for girls. Doesn’t matter if you’re with your girlfriends while having a glass of wine and discussing your sex life, or if you’re in bed with your partner throwing your head back in frustration. While some guys might like the sensation of penetrating what feels like a pinhole, women don’t. Let’s be real, painful sex is not the kind of sex you should be having (unless that’s your thing!).
After doing a bit of research, I’ve found out why you’re having painful sex.
Lack of Lubricants
As WebMD explains, “In many cases, a woman can experience painful sex if there is not sufficient vaginal lubrication.” It sounds like a no brainer, but a lot of people think that you don’t need to be that wet to get the job done comfortably. To fix this problem, get some lube or take your time with foreplay. The longer it goes, the more ready you’ll be.
You’re Not Ready
The older I get, the more I realize that some guys understand the importance of foreplay a lot more than others. When you’re 17, guys just wanna get it done as quickly as possible, and don’t want to (or know how to) please a woman. When you’re in your 20s, more guys are interested, but it’s still not the majority. When women get excited, natural lubricants form and their vaginal opening widens. Sometimes you’re just not fully ready yet and you have to spend a bit more time getting prepared.
Your Cervix is Low
You read that correctly. Have you ever felt like when a guy is thrusting into you that he’s hitting a wall and it hurts like bloody murder when he touches it? That would be him hitting your cervix. But before he gets cocky about his size, let’s explain why this happens. Thankfully Greatist explains: “It’s most likely an issue of position and angle.” That could explain why you are tight, because your body automatically rejects anything going into that region, so you can’t relax and enjoy it.
Sensitivity at the Opening
When all else fails, you grab a mirror and go down and check. Sometimes you might not actually be tight, but still experience a lot of pain when he’s trying to enter you . It could be a result of a vaginal tear (it looks like a paper cut right at the bottom of the entry way). Those can happen after really rough or dry sex, or childbirth. If you do have a tear, they heal within a few days, but you can try epsom salt baths to help relieve any pain or discomfort in the healing process.
You could have a condition called Vaginismus. The Greatist describes it as “involuntary spasms of the pelvic floor muscles.” They say it can be caused by physical and mental experiences such as physical trauma. It can also be anxiety related if you’re afraid of the pain it may or may not cause. If you fall under this category, fear not! You can go to psychotherapy for it, and may have to do some vaginal exercises to get back to being comfortable.
No reason at all
Sometimes no matter how hard you try to get it in, you just can’t. It’s kind of like when the guy you’re with just can’t get hard. You pull out all the stops and no matter what you try, or plan to try, it just won’t stand up for you. It’s the same thing. There’s nothing to worry about if it happens every once in a while. When it’s a frequent issue, then it’s time to go see a doctor, because it could be a bigger issue.
No matter what you may be experiencing, none of these issues are something to be embarrassed about. They happen to everyone at some point or another and you should never think you’re broken because you’re having difficulty having sex. If a guy can’t understand that some thing’s happen from time to time, then he should not be included on your sexual journey. If you’re experiencing pain like this, don’t force him to go in and cause more problems! Relax, take it easy, enjoy the extra foreplay, and keep trying until you succeed.