Summer can be a time for flings, relationship growth, and let’s not forget those spontaneous post-bar one-night stands. Let’s face it, nobody wants to have boring sex, but sometimes it can be hard to come up with new ideas to keep things sexually interesting with your partner. If you’re feeling like your sex life is cooling off, try these tips to turn up the heat:
Visit a sex shop together
It can be awkward and intimidating at first to go into a sex shop and be surrounded by dildos the size of your arm, not to mention being in a place where you are publicly feeding your sexual appetite, but once you get comfortable with the environment, you’ll realize sex shops can be exciting! From my experience, a large majority of the employees at these shops are extremely down to earth and helpful in a non-invasive way, so don’t feel shy asking questions, they have heard it all. If you enter as a couple, it can be a fun bonding experience to look around and explore different types of sex paraphernalia. You don’t necessarily even need to buy anything, it can just be useful to find out what types of things you’re partner is into, if you don’t already know. Also, trying something new together can improve feelings of spontaneity in a relationship, which will make you closer.
A woman shouldn’t have to wait for a man to make the move to get things rolling. Taking charge and making the first move shows your partner that you are confident and are not afraid to take the lead, which is sexy. A simple caress through the pants or a seductive kiss can do the trick. You don’t need to strip naked and jump on top of them like a crazed animal for them to get the hint, but if that’s your style, by all means.
Sex doesn’t need to be rushed, unless you are already late for work and want to fit in a quickie. Nevertheless, sex can be much more intense if you allow more time for foreplay. Building up the anticipation to the big finale is a sure-fire way to create deeper levels of intimacy between you and your partner. After all, you need to preheat the oven before you put anything in it right?
Have sex in places other than the bedroom
You may be used to your routine on the mattress but it can be exhilarating to have sex in a different location. The backseat of a car, on the beach, on the kitchen table…you name it. Yes privacy is important, but so is keeping your sex life thrilling! You should probably avoid having sex in blatantly obvious public places…so no, not in a Wal-Mart parking lot mid-day, unless you want to get charged. But behind a Wal-Mart late at night? Now that sounds like a good time.
If you feel like your sex life is at a stand still, you can bet that there is a lack of communication within the relationship. You and your partner need to be on the same page. Knowing each other’s boundaries, likes, and dislikes is crucial to any relationship, but especially when it comes to sex. Each person should feel safe and respected; otherwise sex can become unbalanced and less enjoyable for both parties involved. Talk to your partner and don’t be afraid to open a dialogue about the direction of your sex life, it will prevent a lot of roadblocks and get you back on the right road towards having mind-blowing sex again.
You should feel empowered and excited about sex, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Respect yourself enough to express your needs to your partner, and don’t be afraid of diving head first into something different. Stepping out of your comfort zone can help you to learn more about your preferences; even a little change can go a long way.