It’s Friday and you and your girls are planning on having a casual night out: happy hour drinks, dinner, and maybe a quick stop in a bar before going home to spend time with your bae, Netflix. But before you know it, you’re four drinks in and your friend is dragging you (willingly, let’s be honest) to some club with a name like “Infinity” or “Secrets” or “Chandelier.” So after paying your cover, there you are, thinking these exact thoughts:
1. Wooooooooooo I love this song!
2. Wait, no, why is it over? I came in here BECAUSE of that song.
3. Well, whatever, I guess I’m stuck now. It’s way too crowded to get out.
4. Where did my friends go? Dammit. Not again. Oh okay, there they are.
5. I have to pee.
6. Hello sir, why are you staring at me?
7. Nope, nope, please stop looking at me.
8. Well it was nice to meet you and your pitcher of alcohol but I think it’s about time for me to nope it on out of here.
9. It’s so damn crowded.
10. I need another drink. Why hasn’t anyone bought me a drink?
11. I guess I could try to make my way over to the bar but that sounds really far away.
12. Hey there buddy. Yep, super smooth approach.
13. Oh no, please don’t touch me.
14. Aaaaand you’re touching me.
15. This seems like the perfect time for me to grab my friend’s hands and dance with her.
16. Please take a hint, man awkwardly holding my waist. I’m not interested.
17. See how I haven’t made eye contact and I stopped dancing? NOT INTERESTED.
18. Alright. Time to pull the boyfriend card.
19. Stahhhhpp. I’m leaving.
20. Wait, no I still have to pee. Someone go with me.
21. Ermahgawd I love this song! Ke$ha should be the soundtrack for my life.
22. Why does my friend look like she’s about to throw up? If she thinks she’s going to vom on me, she is so wrong. Hold your shit together girl.
23. Oh thank god, not a vomit face, just a post-shot face.
24. Wait a minute, who gave her a shot and not me?
25. Whatever, I don’t care. It’s bed time. Or snack time. Or both. I’m done. Let’s get outta here.
After a night out like this, you and your friends promise you won’t have another night like this…until next weekend. But it’s okay, Sundays are made for recovering, relaxing, and downing coffee like the medicine it is.
Featured image via screengrab of The Night Before