You’ve all seen the rainbow filter. LGBTQ rights have come a long way, and we’re much more accepting of gay people than we’ve ever been before, and it’s been amazing. Finally, gay marriage has become widely accepted, and anybody can walk down the street holding their partners hands without the constant fear of being judged for their lifestyle.
I am a bisexual woman. I’m not really one for using a thousand gay hashtags, and talking about how gay I am all the time. I don’t freak out if somebody calls me straight or gay, because it’s not a problem to me. But, I decided to see what the fun was all about at a Gay Pride event last year, and I was told by a lesbian couple to make up and my mind and pick a side. Being where I was, it was the last place I expected to deal with judgement from people. Many people, no matter who they are, don’t believe bisexuality is real that we are just “confused.”
You’re right. We are confused.
We’re confused as to why we are made invisible and judged for something out of our control. We’re confused as to why men are interested in us just for a threesome and why women aren’t interested in us because we like men.
So, let me clear a few things up and hopefully we can all be a little less confused:
Bisexuality is real – we’re not waiting to pick a side.
Bisexuality is an attraction to both genders, in varying degrees. Whilst some of us do have a preference to which gender we are attracted to, we don’t need or want to pick just one. We are not straight, we are not gay, we aren’t even bicurious;, we are bisexual. It’s in the name.
We’re still bisexual even if we’re in a relationship.
Even when we are in a long-term relationship, we haven’t changed our whole sexuality to fit around that one relationship. A straight person is still straight when they aren’t dating someone of the opposite gender, and bisexuality doesn’t change because of our current circumstances.
The same as if we’ve never dated anybody.
You hear it all the time, “How do you know you’re gay, or bisexual if you’ve never dated anybody?” My question is, How do you know you’re straight? It’s funny how that’s never a question. If you can be sure of your heterosexuality from a young age, without needing to date someone and try it out, I can be sure of myself.
Men can be bisexual, too.
Bisexual women seem to be much more accepted than men. I’m have no idea why this happens, but it’s true. But yes, men can also be bisexual.
We’re not all into three-ways.
Just because I’m interested in men and women, doesn’t mean I necessarily want them at the same time. My bed isn’t that big! It’s all down to personal preference, and in my experience, it seems to be straight men that have this fantasy more than anybody else. We’ve all experience the ultimate cliché moment when somebody starts flirting with us, we think we’ve scored and then they said, “Oh my boyfriend/girlfriend will love you!”
We don’t have to date men and women at the same time, and we’re not more likely to cheat.
I’ve been told by numerous people that, “If I date a bisexual person, they’ll just cheat on me because they’ll always want to be dating men and women at the same time.” It’s just the same as any person liking brunettes and blondes, they don’t need to have every person that fits into their preferred categories. In the US, the most likely group of people to cheat are straight men under the age of 30, so maybe think again about accusing an entire sexuality of infidelity.
Bisexuals girls only kiss girls to score men.
Girls do that. A lot. I don’t know why, but some straight girls think it’s fun to make out with other girls at parties. But, afterwards, they say they’d never date a woman because they’re straight. If that’s what they want to do, who are we to stop them? But, a few drunk party girls don’t represent the every bisexual on the planet!
My sexuality doesn’t define me, nor should it define anybody. It’s just a part of who I am, but it’s not all I am. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what I am, or if you care about it. The only thing that matters is that we don’t judge each other because we simply don’t know the truth about who somebody is. Knowledge is power, my darlings.
Featured Image via Brandon Woelfel.