You have just returned from an amazing date (or one night stand) with the guy you have been crushing on all semester. Your heart is beating fast with excitement as you start to day dream about the next time you will see him. You sit there staring at your phone screen, desperately thinking of an excuse to text him first. Every notification that lights up your screen leads you to extreme disappointment when it’s not him. You type, erase, re-type the message over and over again. If this is you, STOP NOW and DO NOT text him. Here’s why:
Not texting him is a great way to get good information about his interest level.
If you are the one always making the first move by texting him, you are depriving yourself of knowing whether he is actually interested in you or if he is just being nice. Sure, sometimes when the guy texts us back 3 hours later or sends us short responses we know he might not be interested. Sometimes, we start justifying and think, ”Oh, he’s just busy,” or “He’s just a bad texter,” and then we waste more time and energy on the conversation and how we can keep it going when we could have been using our energy to do something else like watch hours of cat videos on YouTube or learn how to play a song on the guitar.
If he is not contacting you, he is just not that into you.
Think about how you felt when you were coming up with any excuse to talk to him. If he likes you and has your number, he’s coming up with any excuse to talk to you too. Wait and see if he contacts you, even if it takes a few days. If you don’t hear from him, just accept the harsh reality that he is not interested in seeing you again or else he would have made it happen.
When you text him, you may come off easy and it kills the chase.
Think back to a time when you went out with a guy who you were not interested in. Most girls would say that he tried contacting you again to go out and you did not really care to get his text, probably dismissed it or waited awhile to text back. Often we find that the guys we do not show interest in like us and the ones we like do not. Why? Because men are physiologically built to chase us. By texting him first, the excitement of the chase is over and you may come off looking easy and available. Be careful with this one because men will go for easy, on a temporary basis, until something better comes along.
If he really is interested in you, he will be making the effort to see you. Sit back, relax, and do your own thing. Don’t chase him, and keep moving forward.