10 Signs You’re A Senior Citizen Trapped In A Young Person’s Body

With Microsoft’s new age detector, it was no surprise that you were the only one out of your friends to land the 63-year-old prediction. You’re an old soul caged up in a 20 year-old’s body and choose to appreciate the simpler things in life. Whether it’s the polaroid camera strapped around your neck or your extensive tea cup collection, you might not always fit in with your ‘bar-star’ friends. But hey! All those teenyboppers are going to be just like you one day. Here’s 10 times you proved your old age regardless of your appearance:

1. You still have cable, not Netflix. You feel no shame in catching the 6:00 news while cooking dinner and are boycotting Netflix until they add I Love Lucy to the mix.

2. John Travolta, Paul McCartney, or Tom Cruise would be your #mcm…if you knew what that stood for.

3. You like your lights, coffee, and chocolate all the same…DARK. You turn down the lights for economic rather than romantic purposes. Mood lighting? More like a student who CANNOT afford another crazy utility bill. I’ll take a black coffee and some semi sweet dark chocolate in my rocking chair please.

4. Knitting is a legitimate skill you’ve contemplated changing your major to. 

5. People get mad at you for not using Emojis when you text. You’re definitely technologically impaired. You live by the ‘if it’s not broken, don’t fix it’ philosophy and you are perfectly content with your Samsung Razor flip phone thank you very much.

6. You and your college roommates are the real golden girls. It should be against the law to let a group of crazy girls like you share an apartment.

7. Your closet is full of knit oversized sweaters. It’s like the grandma sweater trend was invented for you personally, and Value Village – or as you like to call it “the VV Boutique,” is home to all your comfortable fashion needs.

8. You couldn’t recognize a Top 30 music chart since the 90s and think Justin Bieber is a little punk who needs to learn some respect.

9. You take no shame in being in bed by 9:30 on a Saturday. 

10. You just feel old! Whether it’s the cringed look on your face every time you see an 8-year-old with an iPad or the pains in your back when you wake up, you genuinely feel like you’ve passed your time of Thirsty Thursdays and keg stands. Bring on retirement and an abundance of cats.

Featured image via Sam Lion on Pexels


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