Some people just love having routines; there’s no harm in that. However, sometimes routines can get boring, especially for aging parents.
It can start looking normal because nothing is exactly wrong. They get up, make something to eat, sit in the same chair, watch the same programs, answer the phone with the same “I’m fine,” and spend most of the day inside the same few rooms. The house is still familiar and they still have their routine From the outside, it can look like they’re just doing what they’ve always done. So clearly, there can’t be a problem here, right?
But sometimes, a routine stops feeling comforting and starts feeling smaller. It might not always be apparent and obvious that this is happening, either. Instead, it can look more like the little edges of life closing in. The weekly shop becomes too much effort, or their diet is changing to something similar. Maybe they talk to friends less.
Obviously, you want to help support your aging parents, but what can you even do in this situation?
Here are a few small but impactful ideas:
Start With Something they Already Like
Trying to add a whole new hobby can feel forced, especially if they’re tired, anxious, or already feeling a bit unsure of themselves. Instead, build around something that still feels familiar. If your parent likes morning coffee, make that a proper moment once in a while, with a pastry, a phone call, or sitting outside in decent weather. Or, if they still enjoy cooking but don’t have the energy for full meals, bring ingredients for something simple and make it feel like company, not supervision.
Whatever you do, make sure to give your parent’s day a little lift without making it feel like a project.
Check Their Home
Sometimes, people stay in the same routine because the house is slowly becoming harder to move through. They avoid the stairs. The laundry waits longer. Maybe they no longer use the upstairs rooms. Shopping takes too much energy, so they make the easiest things for meals. None of it has to look serious on its own. However, together, it can make the home feel like more work than comfort.
If this happens, take a look at what is getting in the way. Maybe your parent needs grocery delivery, a cleaner once or twice a week, or a gardener for their garden to pull out weeds.
Sometimes, they need modifications to the home, like more lights or decluttering. But if the house needs more and more workarounds just to make daily life feel manageable, you may need to do more than that. You might have to bring up assisted living or moving them in with you.
Give Them Something To Look Forward To
A routine feels less flat when you have something to look forward to. That doesn’t have to mean a packed calendar– that can be exhausting for everyone involved (especially if an older parent). But they should have something fun and nice to look forward to. It can be simple, like having dinner together on Fridays, going on a trip to a library, or having a friend coming by on Sundays. Small but meaningful things can add up to make the week something to look forward to.
While many people like their routines, others get stuck in the same old and not knowing what else to do. If you’ve noticed this happening to someone older in your life, use the tips above to help them look forward to every day.
Featured image via Jsme MILA on Pexels
