When did it become shameful for women to not want to have children? It seems to be okay with society when men don’t want them, but not for us. Is it because “women’s bodies were made to reproduce”? (eye-roll).
Well, sorry society, this girl isn’t following what you deem as “normal” and routine for women.
I used to want my own family, but over time, I’ve realized, that life isn’t really for me. When I talk to people, and especially those older than me, I have noticed a common trend that occurs when I inform them that I do not want kids of my own. I hear phrases like…
“Oh, you say that now! You will want them, believe me.”
“You’re young, you don’t know what you want.”
I can’t express how much this pisses me off. Why are people so quick to shoot down my own personal desires and wants? Again, why is it so taboo for me to not want kids? I don’t get it.
Well, this annoyance has aided me in wanting to be a voice for all of you women out there who also do not want children. If you don’t see yourself having your own family in the future, that is more than okay.
Here are some reasons why I, personally, don’t want children and why that’s okay for any women to say.
- Motherhood is not for me.
I am not ‘mom’ material. I do not gush over children like others do. They don’t excite me. I enjoy being around children, but I also like going home to a boyfriend and a dog and that is it. I do not want the responsibility of raising a child. I am more focused on myself.
- I’m selfish.
When I am asked why I do not want to have children, it’s mostly because I want to live a selfish life. I usually get a nasty look or comment in return for using the word selfish, but, why does selfish have to be a bad thing? Newsflash, it’s not! Selfishness is not bad.
- I want to focus on my career.
I know very successful mothers who kill it at their jobs, so I want to make it clear that moms can have kickass careers. In my case, I want to be a therapist for the military, hopefully, and that kind of job requires travel. If I land my dream job, I have to go where the military goes, which is not a child-friendly lifestyle.
- I want to do a lot with my life.
I am not saying that those with children are limited on what they can do with their lives, but they kind of are. I want to travel to so many places in my life, and want to live in a bunch of different cities. When you have children, you can’t pick up and move whenever you want because you need to think of what is best for them first.
- Kids are expensive.
I have a serious amount of student debt and am currently in graduate school, which costs $60k. I will be in debt for an extremely long time, and the idea of having a child, when I owe so much money back from school and credit cards, terrifies me. Also, I just do not want to spend money on having children. I want to spend my money on traveling and experiences and material things that I want. This sounds selfish, but that is okay with me.
- I only get one life.
My mom has always told me, “Once you have children, your life is not your own anymore.” This quote is terrifying! I never want to be limited to what I can do, what I can buy, and where I can go because of having children. I want my life to be mine.
- I just don’t want kids!
Sometimes, you don’t need to explain yourself to people. You know what you want, and no one deserves an explanation for your life choices.
Not everyone wants to live in that perfect house with a big family with that infamous white picket fence, that society deems to be the American dream. I want my small apartment, my boyfriend, my dog, and my freedom, and that is okay! Do not think that you have to follow the norm of society, or have to meet the standards of others. You are in charge of your life. So, do you and ignore those who try and tell you that your goals are not up to par. It is your life.
Originally published with projectwednesday
Featured Image via Unsplash