“Sometimes blood isn’t thicker than water and family will cross you quicker than strangers.”
Why are families such a complicated matter? They can be our greatest source of strength, anger, sorrow, and happiness. But what happens when the family that we love so dearly, becomes the most toxic part of our life? Why are we shamed for cutting them out, when all they do is bring us nothing but negativity? What do you do when the people you once saw the world in, end up abusing your kindness and love?
They say blood is thicker than water, which growing up I always thought meant that through thick and thin, no matter the situation, you would always have your family to turn to. But as life progressed, things became messy, and I grew to find it easier to be amongst strangers, than with own my family. Most of my mother’s siblings, took advantage of the fact she was the youngest. They used her, stole from her, and left her heartbroken. To her, family had always meant everything, and her heart full of unconditional love, had always been her weakness. A weakness many of her brothers knew very well of, and how to exploit it for their own personal gains.
Over the years, my family has faced many hardships. And the times when we needed family the most, many chose to turn a blind eye. They chose to laugh, when all we needed were words of comfort. Some members sent around emails to each other, happy that my family was facing misfortune.
“They deserve it! But I feel bad for the children.”
Hate is a strong word, and I rarely if ever use it. But I hate lies. I hate deception. I hate dishonesty. And that is all I have gotten from them. I believe in honesty, encouragement, unconditional love, and most importantly, in humanity.
The words “I love you,” are meaningless, when uttered by certain members of my family. Because you cannot possibly love someone who was born from the womb of the person you chose to use, to abuse, and to hate. Those words are lies. Because in those words, are masked jealousy and ill wishes towards my family.
I am proud of my parents, and all the sacrifices they have made for my brother and I. It is because of them and the strangers along the way who became my family, that I am who I am today. I have cut ties with my own family, to form ties with people who I choose to acknowledge as my family.
Breaking ties is never easy, and so yes I have struggled with it. Over and over again. But I know it’s the right decision, and it doesn’t make me selfish. I only have one life to live-I intend on living it in the most authentic and meaningful way I know.
I don’t need the approval or disapproval of anyone because, truthfully I never asked for it.
My blood family has become smaller, as each toxic tie has been painfully cut. And I don’t need a large family, despite having come from one. I have the unconditionally love and support from people who have come into my life and stayed, asking for nothing, and giving everything in return.