Life is hard, messy, complex. Everyday as adults, we must get up, go to work, pay the bills, make dinner, go to bed, and start the whole cycle over again. Not all days are going to be the best days of your life; that being said, not all days will be the worst days of your life either. Life is a combination of good, bad, and ugly. Luckily, some of us have a significant other to conquer the good, bad, and ugly with.
I will be the first to tell you that not every relationship is equal, and no relationship will ever be perfect. By finding someone who loves you as much, if not more, as you love him or her, finding someone with unwavering loyalty and support, and someone you can laugh with everyday, you’ll never find yourself doubting the relationship or the love. And honestly, what more could we ask for in a partner? I’ve been in relationships in my past where every day was “he loves me, he loves me not”, and that’s no way to live. Relationships strengthen when you challenge each other, go out and experience the world together, and choose each other each and every day.
If you have to question it constantly, they aren’t the one for you.
Even if you find someone with all the great qualities I listed above, you’re still going to have disagreements, bad days, bad moods, and some of life’s uncertainties thrown at you; it’s inevitable. But if you can’t get through some bad days with your partner, you shouldn’t be with him or her to begin with. If your relationship is mature enough, you will be strong enough, individually and together, to face the unknown. Every day you’ll walk into the world not knowing what will happen, but that’s the beauty of life: you never know what to expect. The most beautiful thing could be right at your fingertips, or you could be thrown a tough hand and become stronger than you already are.
The beauty of loving someone is knowing they’re going to have your back through life’s best moments and life’s greatest challenges, things you’d never expect to survive. If you have someone who is never around during your bad times, he or she does not deserve to be around for the best moments of your life. You deserve someone who respects you enough and loves you enough to know that you’re not perfect and life’s not perfect, someone who will roll with the punches, holding your hand every step of the way. Anyone who leaves at the first sign of conflict is showing you exactly who they are: a coward. It’s a cop-out. It’s saying, “I don’t love you or respect you enough to see you at your worst; I only want the good times with you.”
When I was 17, I was dating a guy who left every time something got the slightest bit difficult. Every time his parents even so much as grounded him, he would break things off, as if I was the problem. Things were too difficult for him to deal with. Shortly after, he’d realize it was stupid and come back. I didn’t put up with it for very long, but it was immature and just plain stupid of me to put up with it at all. The first time it happened, I maybe could have forgiven him and given him one more chance, but when it happened again, I should’ve kicked him to the curb.
Sometimes, even if you think you love the person, it’s not a healthy relationship; only you can decide when enough is enough. A person can only handle so much, and one of those things life throws at you shouldn’t be a shady significant other or uncertainty about your love life.
Be with someone who can hold you when you’re crying, who will be by your side at weddings and funerals, who will stand by your hospital bed after surgery, and someone who will put a bandage on your bloody finger when you cut it, even if he or she is squeamish at the mere sight of blood. True love exists when you love each other through everything, not just the good things in life.