Don’t Be Jealous: Why Big Boobs Are A Huge Pain In The A$$

Big boobs are nothing to be envious of.

For as long as I can remember, people have talked about my boobs as if there weren’t a living, breathing human with emotions attached to them.

For one thing, big boobs are painful. Going for a run may be simple for some girls, but when I get ready to work out I’m strapping on two sports bras and my boobs are still sore the next morning.

My back and shoulders? Constant aches and pains. If you’ve ever wondered why women chose to get breast reductions, strap on a bra and stick ten pounds it in, then carry that around all day. I promise you’ll understand by bedtime.


Now to my fashion woes. Finding a cute bra or lingerie that fits? Good luck. Unless you’re willing to spend hundreds of dollars. Cute bathing suits? Kudos to the girls who are able to find them because I sure as hell can’t. Anything strapless is out of the question, unless I’m feeling extra sassy and feel like risking the nip slip…and by nip slip, I mean my boobs would literally just fall out.

I don’t know what it is about big boobs that make bra-makers say, “I bet she wants a bra that makes her boyfriend wonder if she borrowed it from her grandma!”

Unfortunately, it doesn’t just stop at the bras and bathing suits. Shirts that girls with normal boobs can wear never fit me right. Too tight here, gapes there, my thick bra hangs out everywhere… My most common line while shopping, “I love it, but it’s too tight on my boobs.”

Possibly the worst part about having big boobs? Having to listen to everyone talk about my big boobs. Or worse, having to watch everyone stare at my big boobs. It literally never ends. Some girls may like the attention, but I am not that girl. When other girls gush at me about how lucky I am and how they would kill to have big boobs, I want to whack them in the face with a bra strap. Wear your cute bras and enjoy your endless supply of lingerie. Run your marathons, enjoy your straight back, and shut the hell up!

I don’t even want to get on the topic of how men react to my boobs but we’re going there anyway. It’s the first thing they notice and it’s the first thing they go for in bed. When I start dating a guy and he decides we’ve gotten to a point where we’re comfortable enough with each other, my bra size is his first question. Like that should matter? Would I ask a man what his cup size is? Do they even have cup sizes or is it more of a “one size fits all” situation? Who knows?! Not me, because it’s not an appropriate question. Get over my big boobs and be an adult!

So for real, ladies. Enjoy what life gave ya, because I promise that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. We all have things we wish we could change about our bodies so be considerate and think before you speak…or stare.

Featured Image via The Other Woman Screengrab

2 COMMENTS

  1. Why does this website put other articles as “comments”? wtf?

    I have tiny boobs (32A). Most women with small boobs want big boobs because the way men talk about girls with big boobs makes themselves feel un-sexy and unattractive. I am saying this from my own personal experience. I can completely see how the attention toward your boobs can get annoying. I like wearing a push up bra for my bf bc I look way sexier with one and like a flat 12 yr old girl without one, but once it comes off I don’t feel sexy anymore. I don’t want to be a D cup or anything, maybe a B so that I don’t look so flat without a bra… It mostly just stems from what our culture has established as a “sexy” or “hot” woman. Large boobs = sexy. I have no boobs; therefore, I am not sexy. This is not logical but I have internalized this belief even though I don’t want it. I wish I didn’t care so much about this, trust me…

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.