As an expert who offers relationship advice, one of the most common complaints I hear from couples is that they don’t have the same feelings they did at the beginning of their relationship, especially during the so-called honeymoon phase.
If you’re in a relationship that has moved to the committed stage, and it’s one that’s lasted for a while, there’s a good chance you look back on the so-called honeymoon phase of your relationship with fondness. You’ve gotten past those first couple of dates and decided you are interested in one another. As you reflect on it, a smile comes to your face, along with nice memories.
Unfortunately, for most couples, it is just that: a memory. Generally, what happens to most couples is that there seems to be a trade-off.
The good news is that you’ve committed to each other. The bad news is that you also take each other for granted, and things become complacent. (Luckily, a relationship can be revitalized!)
Think briefly about why you want to be part of a relationship. I guess that you, like everyone else, want to feel like you matter. After all, that’s a significant component of what you get from being with someone — the validation that you matter to that other person.
At the beginning of a relationship, you get large doses of this because of all the attention you give each other. It’s almost like no one else in the world exists.
Here’s more good news: You can have the honeymoon phase back. All you have to do is recreate what you did back then. Of course, it’s likely not to be exactly the same since aspects of your partnership have changed, but the main element of letting your mate know they matter is what matters!
Now, I know that this idea is common sense and sounds simple. The problem is that you forget to do it. Perhaps it’s really that a sort of mindlessness takes place.
So, I want to suggest some ideas for you to incorporate into your routines. When you do these simple things, it will show your partner that they are appreciated.
- Say “thank you” for what they do — even the day-to-day routine things.
- Surprise them by picking up their favorite dessert.
- Send an email or text reminding them that you’re thinking of them.
- Do a chore they don’t like to make their life a little easier.
- Smile when they walk into the room.
As you can see, none of these ideas take much effort, but they all will let your significant other know how much they mean to you. And in the busyness of all else that goes on, it will really help to keep your relationship strong and empowered.