When I was about eight years old, I ran into my parents room, the latest copy of the American Girl Magazine clutched in my pudgy hands. There was a quiz in it, that you were supposed to take with your parents, the purpose of it being to test how well you and your parents knew each other. There was one question, “Who is your Mother or Father’s best friend?” Sitting in front of my Dad, I giggled as I wrote down the name of a man who worked in the same field as my father, who I assumed was my dad’s best friend.
As we relayed our answers back and forth to each other, I was shocked at how little I knew him. But the only answer from that quiz over ten years ago that has stuck with me, was the answer to who his best friend was. “Okay, so, I wrote down that your best friend is Alan. Am I right?” I asked with eager eyes. He laughed before responding, “What makes you think Alan is my best friend?” I naïvely answered, “Because he’s a guy, and you’re both chiropractors. So you must be best friends.”
I’ll never forget his response. “Well, you’re not wrong. Alan and I ARE friends. But my best friend is your mom.” At the time, it just struck me as weird that they would be best friends, and I moved on with my life. Once I got older and started dating, the weight of his response to a simple quiz has stuck with me. And in my search for a spouse, I’ve tried to keep that simple fact in mind: my husband should be my best friend.
There are tell-tale signs every single day that my husband, the man I’ve chosen to spend my entire life with, is my best friend. I’ve narrowed it down to the 6 most significant reasons:
1. Whenever there something big happens in my life, whether it be good or bad, he’s the first person I want to share it with.
It honestly used to be my mother. My mom has always been my best friend, and while I still value my mother as one of my closest friends, she’s been slightly upstaged by my husband. When I do a good job of something at work, I can’t wait to tell my husband about it when I get home. When I hear bad news and I have to tell someone, I confide in my husband.
2. There’s no one else I’d rather hang out with.
Sure, I have other friends, and I definitely enjoy spending time with them. But if I have the chance to spend time with him or with a different friend, 9 times out of 10, I pick him. A lot of people think this isn’t how it should work, but I very adamantly believe that it is. I love my husband more than anything else on this world, and I’d honestly rather have a sleepover with him than with my college roommates.
3. We’re goofy together.
It would kill me, to be in a relationship where there was no fun. My husband and I still have tickle fights, or we spend hours giggling on the couch because of a silly joke that I said. We dance in the kitchen to Taylor Swift while we make dinner together, and we dance down the streets when it’s raining.
4. I go to him when I need comfort.
When I’m at the end of my rope, and I’m breaking down, all I want is for my husband to hold me while I cry. I know I can trust him with all of my broken bits, and all the reasons I’m sad, and he’ll still love me the same. I know that he loves me no matter what I do, or how I feel.
5. He knows me almost better than I know myself.
He rarely has to ask me what I want for my birthday, or for Christmas, because he already knows. He listens to me so well, and he has an amazing knack for remembering the things I mention once or twice. This last Christmas, he gave me a pair of shoes that I’d been wanting and asking for, for the past four years. The same pair. Because he’s been listening.
6. At the end of the day, he’s all I really want.
All of my single friends tell me that they don’t know how I could’ve settled down so young. That there are so many other options out there. I know that I’m not naïve, because the point of getting married is settling down with the person you know you’ll be with forever. And I know I’ll be with him forever.
I know that a lot of people don’t believe in our relationship, because we’re so young. But I know that we’ll prove all the naysayers wrong. Because when I imagine myself with grey hair, crows feet, and saggy neck skin, I see myself laughing next to my glorious husband, just as old and wrinkly as me. We’ll still be having tickle fights, dancing in the kitchen to Taylor Swift, and dancing on the streets in the rain.
Featured image via Julie Hair Dykstra.