We all know that point of the night where you’ve taken your last shot, you’re tired of dancing but mostly you’re just aggressively hungry. Before you even leave the bar, you’re calling your favorite late-night delivery place (conveniently on speed-dial) and ordering enough fried, greasy food to feed a small country. Plus nothing compares to hearing your doorbell ring and knowing that pure deliciousness is seconds away, fulfilling all your drunken desires. If you’re ever unsure what to eat the next time you’re drunk (although anything involving butter and cheese is a good choice), here’s the definitive list of the best drunk foods.
While the hamburger might not be your initial go-to, it’s a pretty solid drunk eat. Perfect during tailgates and day-drinks, a good, juicy burger with the works just hits the spot. Plus, walking through the McDonald’s drive-thru for a Big Mac always makes for a good story.
2. Chicken wings
Whether you like them mild or spicy, chicken wings go great with a beer and a sports game. They’re classic bar food and always a fan-favorite. (Plus drunk you will feel sorta healthy for eating the celery sticks).
3. Cheesey bread
When ordered from a quality pizza-place, cheesey bread can make your night. It’s an underrated choice since there are so many other cheese-and-carbs combos, but it’s delicious nonetheless.
4. Chips and guac
Depending on what you’ve been drinking, milkshakes can either be a really good idea or a horrible disaster. Probably not recommended post case-race (beer and dairy don’t really mix well…), but other than that, 6-7 scoops of ice cream blended to perfection is a sweet way to end your night.
6. Fries with toppings
Regular French fries? Great. Fries with bacon/ranch/mozzarella cheese/gravy? Glorious. There are countless variations to classic French fries to try, so might as well be adventurous while you’re drunk. You can’t go wrong with a little bit of grease.
7. Mozzerella sticks
In my opinion, mozz sticks don’t get enough love. Nothing’s more satisfying than pulling apart that breaded-cheesey-goodness into one long strand of mozzarella. And you can eat like 8 of them and still have room to indulge in something else.
8. Mac & Cheese
If you blew all your money buying shots at the bar, Mac & Cheese is the fiscally responsible choice because what college student doesn’t have at least 3 boxes of Kraft in their apartment at any given time? Chances are that drunk you won’t mess it up (unless you fall asleep while the pasta is still cooking…oops…) and it always guaranteed to satisfy.
9. Chicken fingers
They’re pretty much a staple for a drunken-food diet. With so many dipping options (honey mustard, ketchup, BBQ sauce, oh my!), you can satisfy any craving. And while you can eat chicken fingers sober, they taste ten times better when you’re not.
10. Grilled cheese
Nothing beats a good grilled cheese. Similar to Mac & Cheese, chances are you have the ingredients in your apartment and it doesn’t require much skill to make (even when you’re extremely intoxicated). If gooey, melty cheese doesn’t satisfy your drunken heart, I don’t know what will.
Ah, the answer to all our drunken prayers. Pizza is basically the savior for our alcohol-filled nights because regardless of why kind of night you’ve had, pizza will always make it ten times better. It’s the trifecta of grease, carbs and cheese, making it literally the most satisfying drunk food ever.
A drunken night isn’t complete without post-gaming with delicious food. Cheers to all the grease and cheese. This is what alcohol consumption was made for.