I’ve suffered through my fair share of crappy relationships before I found the one (yes, I am 20 and happily married). Unsurprisingly, there are several things in my current relationship that are much healthier and a hundred times less stressful than my previous ones. Any happy couple will be able to tell you that there are some things that you shouldn’t put up with in a healthy relationship. It’s crucial to remember that there is a difference between a toxic relationship and a couple that needs to appreciate more and communication better. Here are 5 hacks that every couple can use to have a happy and healthy relationship:
1. Don’t constantly complain to them.
Life can be a complete b*tch at times and it is too easy to let go of your frustrations and woes on the person you’re dating. But it’s going to get tough for them to always listen if the only thing you do is complain. Of course it is okay to vent occasionally, but don’t let the only thing you talk about be the bad parts of your day.
2. Spend time every day appreciating your significant other.
Even taking 5 minutes a day to consciously appreciate and love your boyfriend/girlfriend will do heaps of good for your relationship. It isn’t enough to just passively love them. Love is in an action, not just a feeling. Don’t let one day go by without giving your S.O. a kiss and actively showing him/her that your life is better because of you have them.
3. Lend a helping hand.
When you date someone, you ultimately become their lover, best friend and caretaker. So when the person you love can use your help, you should happily be there for them. Make them dinner when they’re studying for a test because you know they won’t eat otherwise. Help them do the dishes after they’ve cooked for you. Rub their back after a stressful day. Basically, do something selfless solely out of love. If you’re serving someone, you’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to full-heartedly love them.
4. Surprise them.
I try to make it a point to plan a surprise once a week for my boyfriend. It doesn’t have to be something big. Things like, visiting them on their/your lunch break, preparing a home cooked meal, sexy lingerie, or even just an unexpected romantic text to get them through the day. A small gesture can go a LONG way in making your SO feel loved and cared for.
5. Tell them that you love them.
There comes to a point where you KNOW you love each other, so it doesn’t get said as often. Don’t let that happen. You need to vocalize your feelings for them. Never let a day go by without saying “I love you” and actually meaning it. No matter how much you know you love each other, there is no feeling better than hearing those three words from somebody you adore.
I can look back at every single failed relationship, and see specifically that at least one of these were neglected, and that’s why we didn’t work out. Despite that we think once our Prince Charming comes along that it will be a fairytale that just works out, it’s not like that. In order to hold on to that love, you both have to work for it.
In my experience, the ones that aren’t willing to put in as much effort as you, aren’t the ones you should be putting effort into. Sadly, you’re going to have to date a few duds before you find the one. And that’s okay. I dated my fair share of douche canoes before I found the one that deserved all of my love and effort.