Before you bookmark this article and pass it off for when you have a boyfriend, here is a whopping disclaimer: “relationship” can mean anything. Especially if you’re a college girl, floundering around in a world where labeled dating is as prevalent as rabid unicorns. So, yes, “relationship” is referring to that boy you went home with twice last week, and that kid from class you are flirty-texting everyday when you are supposed to be doing your homework. Here, the term is even stretched out to mean your friends…after all, a relationship is not just referring to the relations of your genitals.
If you ever find yourself on the floor with an Ed Sheeran playlist and a carton full of ice cream, moaning about why relationships suck, and he’s a d*ck and she’s a b*tch and you’re going to get fat, you’ve probably made one of these mistakes:
1. You over-romanticize
Example: He texts you, “Hey, how’s your day?”, and it’s the first response you’ve gotten after 3 days of radio silence. Yes, it’s nicer than nothing, but if your internal response is somewhere along the lines of, “WOW, HE ASKED HOW MY DAY WAS HE’S SO NICE OMG SO NICE LIKE SOOO NICE WOW SO NICE”, please direct yourself to the nearest brick wall and smash your face in it (or at least take a few breaths). Do you know how much effort actually went into that text? It was less than three seconds of pressing a keyboard. He didn’t cure cancer, stop world hunger, or Pretty Woman you on a balcony. He just asked how your day was, and he is no Prince Charming because of it.
2. You make excuses
Your best friend flaked for the second time, or your boy-toy didn’t follow up on your study date. You tell yourself it’s okay, because you’re all just sooooooo busy that no one can make time for each other anymore. But really, people? Odds are your “BFF” got too into her Netflix series and your boy is playing video games – all fine and fabulous ways to spend their time, but not the time that they are supposed to be spending with you. If you’re not their priority, they shouldn’t be yours.
3. You let things build up
This is the one that f*cks me over, time and time again. I pay no attention to small grievances, and then during a little misunderstanding, the gates of hell are opened and out comes months upon months of stacked up resentment. Every time you think about the person, there are flames shooting out of your eyes and yes, you do become that scary psycho b*tch all primetime TV viewers are so familiar with. Do yourself and your relationship a favor: deal with things when they happen. It’s a lot less messy in the long run.
4. You forgive too easily
If you forgive too easily, odds are you don’t really forgive at all. In situations where you are really bothered by something, don’t gloss over the circumstance with a half-assed set of apologies. The last thing you want to happen is to be partying it up with your friend or your man, just to get a few drinks in you and start screaming in a corner. “Hey Molly, want to dance?” “NO I HATE YOU. DIE, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.” “What?” “Haha, kidding, let’s dance, it’s fine.” I’m pretty sure they’re getting the idea that it’s not fine, but it’s a lot easier to handle a real, full-on conversation if no one is already busy handling your (quite justified) craziness.
5. You keep them around because you think that they will change
Stop this. It doesn’t matter if they’re a f*ckboy who says it is different with you or a friend who promises she’ll do better; you can only give people so many chances. Eventually, they are just going to be a drain on your emotions and a never-ending source of stress. Cutting people out of your life when there is no defining moment of wrongdoing may be a hard concept to stomach, but it’s a necessary one. You shouldn’t be continuously stressed and your life should not evolve around someone who isn’t even who you want them to be. Don’t put weight on empty promises.
Of course, there are a lot of other reasons why you’ll end up having a dairy-binge on that floor of yours…the human race has an astounding capability for stupidity. But if you recognize yourself in any of these situations, think about taking some action to change that. Make the most of the relationships that matter to you, and now that you know about them, there is no excuse for letting any of these mistakes get in your way.
Featured Image via Tumblr.