We 90’s kids are now inevitably hitting that age where our peers are getting down on one knee and asking the hopelessly romantic, loves of their lives to share a last name. The girl that sat next to us in 11th grade English is pregnant and the guy who once helped you remember your locker combination is married with two kids already. In a time where everyone appears to be taking the next step, here are five reasons why you won’t be seeing me getting hitched anytime soon:
1. I want marriage, but not yet.
I’ve been dating the same guy off and on for almost nine years. Most people say “When are you getting engaged?” when they hear how long we’ve been together. Well, to be honest…no time soon. My boyfriend and I have always been so open to the idea of marriage and planning our lives together, but engagement has never been on the forefront of our relationship. School and our careers are what we want to focus on first. We are both so excited for our special day to come, but we also are even more excited for the amazing things that will happen for us both in between.
2. I’m exactly where I want to be.
Every couple is different, but for the most part, when you know, you know. Sometimes it takes 5 years or other times, two months max. My boyfriend and I have a “plan” you could say, but for the time being we are completely content getting excited over going grocery shopping together. Don’t compare your relationship to someone else’s, what makes your relationship special is what you both cherish in each other. Do what makes you comfortable, and forget the rest.
3. It’s okay to put my career first.
Growing up in the South I was always surrounded with women immersed with the idea of the “American Dream” – being go to college, find a great guy, get married right after graduation, have children soon after, and figuring out the career somewhere in between. While that plan may be for you, I personally think the “American Dream” is accomplishing your personal dream – which in my case, this ideal wasn’t going to cut it. I’ve always been very career driven and to be honest, it’s my first priority. In a world where women are idealized as homemakers and caregivers, I’d like to top my list of qualifications off with the title CEO someday.
4. I want the experience, not the reality.
When logging onto Facebook and seeing a girl showing off her amazing ring or an Instagram post of her bachelorette party, I’ll admit I’m a little jealous. But when thinking about why I am actually jealous, I realized it was jealousy of the experience, rather than the reality. Most girls love to think about the planning of their wedding day and picture themselves walking down the aisle as they watch a friend do so, but when actually faced with it happening, I always come back to the thought that it’s not time.
5. I’m simply not ready.
When someone the same age or even younger gets engaged I panic, “Am I supposed to be doing that now?!”
Yes, I am in love and feel I’ve found the person I want to be with forever, but why does that mean it has to happen so fast? To be honest, I’m not ready for a wedding until all parts of my life are ready: finances, career, law school for my boyfriend, and just time to grow as a partnership.
Many people who marry young say they gave up nothing and accomplished all they wanted to while married. But for me, finding the perfect booties for Fall is higher on my priority list than getting engaged #kidding #kinda. I want to be ready for all aspects of marriage, and until then, being young and in love is enough for me.