I got married at nineteen. I am, for all intents and purposes, a teenage wife. I can almost guarantee, however, that I am not the picture you have in your mind. I did not get pregnant. I am not living in some tiny town with no options. In fact, I graduated high school with honors, scholarships, and every opportunity to go to school and become incredibly successful in a career but I walked away from it in favor of a different kind of personal success. I don’t fit into the stereotype that so many people want to put me into.
I understand that some people think I’m crazy. Statistically speaking, the average age women are getting married today is 27 and most people I know are even older than that. In today’s day and age, for the most part, people recommend completing as much schooling as possible and being established in a career before settling down. I chose a very different path and I am going to be brutally honest about what that’s like for me. I will try to address all the questions I know come to mind when you hear “20 years old and married” and hopefully show people that they can and should make the choices that are right for them regardless of the social norms or expectations.
- There wasn’t a use in waiting. Once I met the person I knew I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, to us, we didn’t see the point in waiting any longer. I did what made sense and felt was the right decision for me and my life, and that was what mattered.
- Settling down and settling are not the same thing. In no way did I settle for something that was less than what I wanted and deserved and I would never suggest anyone else settle.
- It is hard. It involves enormous sacrifices that most people at this age, or any age, could never fathom making. I am simply opening up about my life and assuring those who feel this may be right for them that they can do it without feeling responsible for others disapproval.
- You can still do anything you would’ve done single, with him. I do not have a college diploma. I am not ashamed of this. At this point in my life, I don’t feel like it’s something I want. I want to raise a family more than anything and I really don’t care if that “sets the women’s rights movement back” because as a woman, I have the right to choose what I want to do with my life. If something changes and I want to work towards further education, there is no reason I can’t do so later on. I know I would have my husband’s support.
- Yes it’s expensive! But it will ALWAYS be expensive. Would we be better equipped to handle it if we were older? Maybe. However, what we’re living through right now is the stuff strong marriages are made of and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
- Marriage is really, really freaking hard. Like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is NOT all romance and happiness. It is fighting. It is stressful. You’re basically taking two different people and saying “Okay, you have to live together and you have to make all major decisions together for the rest of your lives.” This is so much harder than you could ever imagine if you haven’t done it. It’s constant compromising, cooperating, struggling, communicating, and working to make the best of difficult situations.
- You never really live alone, but that’s okay. I pretty much went from my mom’s house, to the house I share with my husband. Making the permanent move from your family is hard. Getting married is hard. Putting them together definitely makes for some homesickness starting out (particularly for me since I was moved more than 3 hours away from my entire family). Having support in place and mutual understanding is the key to making this work.
- I’ve made my choice. I am 100% aware that at this point in my life, I am expected to be going out and meeting people. I am aware that I haven’t met a fraction of the men I will meet. I don’t see this as something people should pity me for. I think making a decision to be faithful is a beautiful thing and I’m proud to have made that choice at this age.
- Our forever started early, which only gives us a lifetime to be together. I will celebrate my 10th anniversary before my 30th birthday. That is my reality and it even sounds crazy to me. However, I think we are so fortunate to have the chance we do. That we are able to grow up together and have so much time to be together.
- There are challenges to face. My challenges just happen to be different than the typical 20-something. I am not worried about finals, I am worried about bills. Everyone’s struggle is unique and I own mine with pride.
- I’ve dated people in the past. You need to understand my personality and approach to relationships. I have always loved completely and without reservation. I tried to date people I could see a future with. My husband was not my first boyfriend or anything. I had dated and been in a serious relationship prior to meeting him but I was always thinking about my future. This resulted in me very quickly figuring out who and what I was looking for.
- We had support but not all young couples do. We had friends who didn’t really understand but as far as our family and people close to us, we had their acceptance, support, and help as we took the step into marriage and we continue to have that support system. Without it, things would be much more difficult.
- Love is not enough. That’s as hard to say as it is to hear. You can be totally in love with someone and still fail if you tried to be married. Marriage is constant effort and a desire to always strive for what’s best for your marriage and for your partner above what you may want. It is self-sacrificing, communicating, and always sticking together when things get rough.
I think this world is filled with way too much judgement and way too many expectations of how we live our lives. Marriage will always be hard and it’s definitely harder doing it in your 20’s because those years are supposed to be your selfish years where you do what makes you happy. Getting married before I even began my 20’s meant forfeiting that. That being said, for me, it’s been worth the challenge and worth the sacrifice.
I hope that by sharing what it’s really like to be in my situation, I can help people realize that you need to do what makes you happy and what fulfills your life. It is essential to be open, understanding, and accepting of how others live their lives. If you read this and feel like it’s absolutely ridiculous, then it’s obviously not for you and you should continue on the path you’re on. But the truth is, not everyone wants to, has to, or should take that path. There are challenges in life no matter what. It’s up to you to make your choices because at the end of the day, you have to live with the life you’ve created so build something you’re proud of. And if you want, build it with someone you makes you happy, no matter how old you are.
Featured Image via The Author.
I think it’s awesome that you’re living your life how YOU want to. I completely agree that society judges waaaay too much. We don’t have to have a degree to live a good life. I got married to my husband when I was 23. We celebrated our eighth anniversary last month. We have three children and I stay at home with our kids. I love it! This is what I want to do. To heck with societal norms!
Thank you Melissa! I agree completely. Congrats on 8 years 😀
How about you get a job and help him out. God Lird..
unnecessary. Real couples do what makes them happy and if that is what they have decided then that is there choice not for you to go around being negative nelly over here.
Im 20 but dont want marriage she does and says she loves me reality set in im freaking out im going to leave her
Oh my goodness! I am not one to normally comment on things like this but I just have to! This is my exact story! Except this year, I will turn 39 and celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary! You can live happily ever after getting married so young. It is easy? No way. Is it worth it? Absolutely! All the best in your life together. You are truly blessed to not have to deal with so much of the baggage that people end up with before they find their mate. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for taking the time to comment Leanne! It’s inspirational to read stories of those who married young and are together so many years later so thank you so much for sharing 🙂
I think this is so beautiful, I’m 19& no where near getting married but I think people who always trying to fit society will never truly be happy… I’m.proud to know there are people in my generation making wonderfully strong and mature decisions. I wish you the best of luck in marriage
hey i’m 17 right now and i’ve been dating/courting this guy for almost 3 years now. He isn’t going to the military and won’t be done till i’m about 18 and a half
i want to get married then but i am gettin a lot of hate about it saying i should wait a little longer. But i don’t understand why if He can support me. we’ve already walked so long.
thank you for sharing your story, it was very encouraging❤️
I’m glad someone can relate! I’m getting married in a little less than a year and I’ll be 20. And people just don’t understand what its like. Extremely frustrating hearing people try to say “Oh, you’re too young. You need to wait.”
Thanks for your comment Leighann. You’re so right. We were lucky to have too much of that (although we know people were thinking it). Always do what’s right for you 🙂 Other people’s opinion of your lifestyle is their problem, not yours! Best of luck with the wedding plans & I wish you all the best!
I got married at 22, just celebrated our 21st anniversary, have three children and I am finally graduating from college! There is a time for everything. I love the choices I have made and have been very content in every direction God has led me.
Thanks for sharing Kim 🙂 Happiness and faith are #1 for us. You can’t go wrong if you follow the path that’s been set for you (no matter how tough things might get). There is nothing wrong with getting your education later (or not at all if you rather). Congratulations on 21 years!
My husband and I married at 20 and we will be celebrating our 30th anniversary in July. You are correct saying marriage is hard work. It is no matter what age you marry. You sound like a very mature young lady and with the planning and wisdom you have you will have a successful marriage. It is worth all the work. I also chose to forgo a career and stay at home to raise our kids. When they were all in school I had the opportunity to begin working at the school and so worked only when they were in school. You have made a great decision and don’t ever let anyone look down or criticize you. There is no more important career than that of raising your kids. You go girl!!
Oh my goodness! This is amazing. This has helped me a lot I am 19 got married at 18 during to Senior year of high school and this has been incredibly hard. I have moved hundreds of miles away from my family right after i graduated to be with my husband, and i barely see him because of his job, but i wouldn’t change it for anything. This has given me faith for our future. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for your kind words, Michelle. It’s inspirational to hear from young brides who have had such long, successful marriages. I’d certainly like to think of myself as mature and I am definitely 100% invested in my marriage and life choices. I hope to be a stay at home mom when the time comes too and focus solely on writing. I too believe raising children will be the most important job I ever hold 🙂 Thank you for your support!
I was married at 18. Everyone thought I was nuts (or pregnant). And my husband and I had been dating less than a year when we married. I could have waited another year before we married, or I could have married him the week after I met him, and I honestly don’t think it would have made a difference for me. We are 22 years and 4 kids in, and I have never regretted my choice. I have gone back to school and graduated. I have achieved other goals I’ve had. It hasn’t always been easy but nothing worth doing ever is.
Thanks for sharing Valarie! I love the point you made. I agree, very few things that I would consider to have been worthwhile in my life were easy to achieve. Congratulations on 22 years!! The best is always yet to come 🙂
So well said! I was 18 and a month away from my 19th birthday when I got married. And no, I was not pregnant either. We had 4 years of getting to know each other and grow before our first daughter was born. Now, 2 kids, one grandchild, and 23 yrs together…I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, it was hard. We’ve had our ups and downs but I love him more every day.
Thanks for the comment Mekoe and for sharing your story 🙂
Wow 41 and a grandchild. You instilled some great values in your kids. Get married and have more babies. Don’t worry about an education you can be dependent on your old man.
You are so right, the womens movement was about choosing your path. To work, be a stay at home mom, education or whatever. You sound level headed and more mature than some of us in our forties. Good for you!
Thanks Cassie! I appreciate the support and positivity 🙂
I did the same thing. I graduated in June and got married in september. I was 18 years old. We dated for 2 years. Now 22 years later with 2 sons and my oldest graduates high school this year and 2nd son going to fourth grade. All I can say is we are still going strong and I am so blessed. No regrets what so ever.
Thank you for sharing Tammy! Congratulations on your wonderful marriage and family. I hope for a prosperous future for you all 🙂
Thanks for sharing. My wife and I have been married for 22 years, she was 19 and I was 23 when we married. I had a little more “life” lived before, but the life we’ve experienced together since that day has been extraordinary. 8 kids, 12 moves, 2 dogs and it’s been an adventure I couldn’t imagine living apart from.
Thanks for telling your story Scott! It’s always encouraging to hear of other’s struggles and triumphs. My husband is also a few years older and has had more “experiences” but all the matters is the amazing journey we’re taking and the memories we’ll make together.
My wife and I got married at 20. We were told we were too you, hadn’t known each other long enough, it will never last. That was 41 years ago and it keeps getting better. It’s a lot of work, but you can do and have a great marriage. Good luck and hang in there.
Hi Pete! Thank you for sharing your story. It’s amazing to hear of the long, successful marriages others have had and truly inspirational.
We got married when I was 21 and have been together since I was 15. I’ve done it all at once we had a daughter married and I graduated college all in the same year! I get asked all the time wait your married…..how old are u again?
Thanks for sharing, Krysta! That is truly amazing. What an inspiration! I wish you all the happiness in the world 🙂
I was 18 and my husband was 21 when we got married, and NO I was not pregnant! We will celebrate our 27 wedding anniversary this August! I always knew I wanted to be a wife and a mother, that was my career choice! We have two grown children and a beautiful grandson! We designed and built the home we live in. We have traveled to Ireland, Mexico, The Bahamas, Hawaii and many other US states! We do not have college degrees. Together we have built our life and every day has been an adventure. I wouldn’t trade one second of it! I love my husband, my family and my life! Age is just a number!
Thanks for sharing, Misty! Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary 🙂 It’s so encouraging to hear of the long, happy marriages other young brides have experienced so thank you for telling your story!
I also know for a fact that nothing will please me more than being a wife and a mother so I understand your feelings and hope to one day have the same success as you and your husband have in building a life I can be proud of!
I was married at 16, before I graduated. I agree with you almost 100°\°. I however did get 2 college degrees while taking both my kids to class with me. Noone can tell ya if you did the right thing, as long as you believe you did, then you did! I am now 41, 2 grown children, 3 grandchildren (2 were born sleeping), a wonderful loving husband,hard times, a lot of hard work & a ton of love! I knew my reason for living was to be a wife & mother when I was a child. It is hard but so rewarding!
Thanks for your comment, Dawn 🙂 As I mentioned in my article, you’re absolutely right, education is totally still an option even when married young. If I ever wanted to pursue that my husband would be totally onboard and supportive and I think I’d be better of with his support than without 🙂 He’s a full time student getting his bachelor’s degree with a double major.
It’s wonderful to hear your story of success and happiness, against all the odds society places in front of us.
Thanks for sharing!
I also got married when I was 19, and my husband and I have THE MOST INCREDIBLE marriage of anyone I know! We just celebrated 16 years, and I am very happy that I made that choice. I commend you and your husband and pray that you have many wonderful years together!
Thank you for sharing Donna Miller! It’s refreshing to hear someone so proud of the love they share 🙂 We appreciate your prayers and well wishes!
The majority of this is correct for my husband and I. But for us, marriage is NOT hard. We never fight. The last argument we had was a year and a half ago over what to eat or something. We both never had to sacrifice anything either. If we need or want it, we tell the other, then get it. If we want to do something, we tell the other and do it. And finally, love is enough. We have been homeless and stayed by each others side the entire time. We have never strayed, looking for another to be with. I only knew my husband for 19 days before we got married. And because love has been enough, marriage hasn’t been hard and we have never had to sacrifice.
I agree. I think your reply is on target of what a marriage really should be. If there are a lot of fights/issues, or even just enough to cause a certain level of chaos then it makes me question if those people are truly meant for each other. Love should be enough and if it isn’t, one should really question their intentions in marrying.
I’m 47 and in August my husband and I will celebrate our 29th anniversary. It’s not been all candy and roses. You have to work at it You have to fight for it. It’s a give and take. Giving up was never an option for us. We truely love each other but there are days we don’t like each other. We talk about it and come to an agreement and understanding. You’re never going to always agree or like everything the other person does but you have to respect them. Honesty and communications is the key. To many people choose not to work out their disagreements and that leads to thier down fall. I’ve seen too many treat marriage as disposable, throw away get another. I’m not saying everyone just more so,than not. Then again what works for us wont work for the selfish ones that think of only themselves and not thier spouse.
I was married at 18, my husband 19. We’ve been married for 48 years. We were married 4 years before we had children. I was an at-home mom. I love my life and wouldn’t trade it for the world. Two children, 8 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren later I know I married my best friend.
My boyfriend had just proposed tome a week ago,I’m 18 and he is 22,we’ve been together for 4 years. Reading your article calms me down more and takes away the stress of what everyone else thinks.
I’m so happy to hear that Harley! Honestly, other people’s opinions should never stop you from doing what is right for you. You need to live your life according to the path you’re meant to be on and not to please anyone else 🙂 I could not be more sure of and happy with the decision I made. It’s not always easy but it’s always worth it.
I wasn’t preggo and married at 17. He obviously wasn’t ready, so 5 years later I remarried. We are at 4 kids and 13 years together of “wedded bliss”… I’ve been married for 18 years and I am 36! Loving every minute of it! I also had my future mapped out, full ride scholarships and options- but all I ever wanted to be- was Mom. I am happier now than I ever could have been otherwise!
When I read the title and scanned it, I assumed the writer was looking back a little longer than …. 12 months. I’d like to see a follow up when she gets a little more experience under her belt. pretty much every 20 year old out there is absolutely sure they are making all the right choices, and pretty much every 30 year old is laughing their butt off at what their 20 year old self thought.
Thanks for your comment Melissa. This article isn’t about reflection whatsoever. It’s about answering questions I have gotten since I announced my engagement. It’s about addressing concerns that a young person has about getting married. I never stated that we made it or that we have it all figured out. I wrote about the how my life differs from an “average” 20-somethings as it relates to my decision to marry. The perspectives of young people who are married in this day and age differ greatly from those who have been married many years. However, both opinions, experiences, and all stories are unique and beautiful and ever-changing with passing time. All are worth sharing to inspire and support others. Thank you for your opinion though. Someday I may write about my decision to marry as a reflection. However, that’s never what this article was meant to be about.
I got married at 19 in 1997. I am still happily married, and when I’m 38, my oldest son will graduate high school with his sister three years behind him. So by the time I’m 41, both my kids will be in college. I am the youngest of my friends by far, but it doesn’t bother me in the least! We are happy, and I’m glad I married young and started a family young when I had the energy to be active with my kids.
I met my husband a week after I turned 14. after 6 months of dating we knew we were meant to be husband and wife. Both sides of the family were 100% for it. From that point on, we were just waiting to grow up. We almost got married at 17 with my parents signature (he would have been 18), but just decided to wait until I was 18. Young marriage is the most amazing thing. We didn’t get pregnant, in fact, we saved ourselves for marriage. We have been married for a little over a year and we are happier than ever. It isn’t hard, it just requires effort, determination, love, forgiveness, patience, and lots of communication. But honestly… What part of life doesn’t require those things? Marriage is no harder than any other life we could choose – every path of life has easier times and harder times; easier aspects and harder aspects.
We have money, we have a nice car, and we have supportive family. And we look forward to having kids one day in the future! Young marriage is often steriotyped and it really shouldn’t be. Everyone is different and has their different story.
I don’t believe that young marriage should always happen – some people just aren’t cut out for it. But then there are people who are, and that is a beautiful thing.
I loved reading your blog – I am so happy for you and your husband!
Thank you for sharing Naomi. You’re very right, anything worthwhile requires effort. And marriage is about maturity, not age so it’s certainly true that it’s not right for everyone. Your story was beautiful and I’m glad you enjoyed what I shared about mine 🙂
Ok, now, listen to this! We were married at 16 (me) and 19. (You should have heard what that news conjured up!) Next month we will be married 50 years!! We made it! I did not finish high school until years later. I then went to college and graduated LVN School the same year our daughter graduated high school. We have had bumps in the road but with God in our life, we have overcome them. The only person I ever wanted to be was a Christian wife and mother. That calling is the most rewarding thing ever. Right next to it though, is the loving position I hold as Mimi to 4 young ladies, 1 grandson-in-love and 1 who is engaged to one of the girls. I have been a nurse for many years and loved it. I can truly say that growing up with the most wonderful husband and daughter has been a true blessing. Wishing the best for you and your husband. God bless!
Linda thank you so much for telling your story. It’s an inspiration to me as I share the dream of being a successful Christian wife and mother. I hope your anniversary was amazing (if it’s already taken place). Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and support 🙂
I also got married at 19. I’ve been with my husband since i was 17, Im now 27! We are really happy and have kids of our own now. Also didnt stop me from taking a college tech class. I have also been thinking about going to college as of late. Its never to late. Everyone ones different , nobody life looks just like someone elses.
To be honest I thought this article was great until I read that you were 20. I was married at 19 so it’s not that I think you are incapable of succeeding in your marriage. It’s just that you have not yet. Everything you said was made laughable to even those married young. I’m 23 and my husband and I have 2 beautiful children, we are at the very begging. You have 0 experience and 0 outside forces to disrupt your bliss. 20 years + from now and (maybe) a child or more later this story will. be beautiful. Perhaps we should leave the articles about young marriage to older and wiser woman then us. I wish you ever joy in life and your marriage.
Thanks for your comment Ariel. I appreciate your perspective and you sharing your story. My article was in no way stating I “made it” or anything like that. It was discussing my experience of choosing to settle down young as it is right now and hopefully inspiring others to do what makes them happy. I am not saying there isn’t more challenges and amazing journeys ahead, in fact I hope there are. I wrote this article to share my experience as of today and answer to a lot of the questions I’ve gotten since I announced my engagement. Despite not have 20 years of marriage under my belt (yet), nothing I stated is in anyway “cheapened” by my age or amount of time married. Also, I would ask that you respect that I did not share specifics of anything we faced. We have had life experiences (not nearly as much as we hope we can say we have years from now but that doesn’t mean the ones we’ve had are invalid) and we have gone through many challenges most couples would never dream of so we have in fact come through a lot together both before and after our wedding day. I disagree about leaving articles about young marriage to older women because the information is totally different. Older women’s articles on the subject would be amazing and I’d love to read them but they don’t have the same perspective as a young newlywed in this day and age and our stories and feelings matter too. Everyone is different and has different things to share at different points in their life. My story is no less beautiful than any other one.
This article is awesome! I was married at 16, no, I was not pregnant. It was the best choice I’ve ever made. I hope this article will help people understand why we did what we did and why it’s what was best for us. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing Laura 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the article!
I loved your article!!! Me and my husband met when I was 19 and he was 28. We dated for about 6 months when he proposed and got married 5 months later when I was 20 and he was 29. He already had two kids (7 and 5 at the time) and was told by everyone that it wouldn’t work and we will fight all the time. It’s been 2 1/2 years and we have disagreed on thing but every couple does but we haven’t had a major fight ever. Was it hard, very! I wouldn’t change it for the world. I see all my friends going out and having fun and wish I could but then again I don’t want to. I also never lived on my own and I’m fine with it.
Thank you for sharing your story Alexus! I think your experience would be quite interesting to hear more about. It must be quite a unique experience to marry young to someone who is “older” and already had children. I appreciate you choosing to comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the article!
This is exactly the reassurance that I am needing.. I am 19 years old and my wedding is in 27 short days. The vast majority of our friends and mostly my family are not on board with the idea of my fiance and I getting married so young. Reading this makes me more aware that there are people out there that are exactly like us and see no point in waiting. We aren’t even technically married yet and I totally agree with your statement of marriage being about sacrifice and hard work. These things are key to a happy marriage in my opinion. Also, it takes the work of two, not just one. Thank you so, so much for sharing your wisdom with others. It helps with worries that it isn’t possible to be so young and start a life with someone you love.
Thanks for your comment Alyssa! Although I haven’t been married long (just celebrated 1 year a month ago), we’ve learned a lot really quickly due to our circumstances. It’s definitely worth it! I’ll be totally honest with you that it’s much easier if your family is on board but not impossible either way. Marriage has been a beautiful journey so far and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
I hope your wedding day is everything you dreamed of and that your family comes around to your decision to live your dream.
I don’t comment on anything to often, but it’s so nice to know that I’m not alone with this. After a while it gets so tiring hearing people say thats I’m too young and that I should wait because I have so much living to do. I know he’s the one I want to be with, so why should I wait to be his wife because you think 19 is too young.
Thanks Nesha. You’re right on the money with why I wrote this! I hoped that by sharing my thoughts on the decision I made and why I made it, I’d inspire others to take control of their life regardless of social norms. I wish you all the best!
Love this, I started dating my husband at 16, and we got married just after I turned 18. When we got married i didnt “need” a man to take care of me, but i knew he was the “one” and didnt want to spend my life without him, and it has been soo worth it. we have had some pretty rough times in the past, but we have two kids and next March will be our 10th anniversary. I don’t believe in giving up on something soo special. Because of marring so young we weren’t set in our ways, we set our ways together, we grew up together, and because of this we both have the same common goals, and the same outlook on how we want to live our lives. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this Heather! I feel we have a lot of common ideas haha. We too feel blessed to be able to build lives together instead of having to adjust everything to include the other person 🙂 Your story is appreciated and congrats on your upcoming anniversary! I think a lot about what our lives might look like when we reach 10 years and can’t wait to find out.
My husband and I got married when we were both 19. I was a single mother and he adopted my daughter…. WHEN HE WAS ONLY 19! Like you ,we had family support which helped a ton and 20 years later we are still married. We had another little girl together and just recenlty my husband gave away our oldest at her own wedding. It was the sweetest wedding you could imagine. I regularly wake up and thank God for my life and thank Him that we married young. I dont ever recall regretting or thinking i should have waited. I have gone to college and earned my bachelor’s degree and my husband has earned his Masters and I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. Yes… it has been a radical amount of work but so so so so worth it! The frequent thing I hear from people who got married at an older age is that while they got a chance to grow independently before they got married and learn what they really wanted in a spouse, it actually made finding that spouse harder. The longer they were single, the more set in their ways they were and the harder it was to compromise when they finally did get married. While my class mates are just now in the process of changing diapers, both my children are graduated, one is in college, and my husband is retiring from his military career. All before the age of 40. Can you say… freeeeedom!!! Woop woop! Let me just say… I have a lot of friends and coworkers who are a bit jealous.
This is like my story….I was almost 19 when I got married. My husband left for Air Force basic training just 3 days after our 2 month anniversary. Then we moved to Wichita, KS from Maine just before our 7 month anniversary. I know the whole home sick feeling. I have lived in 6 different states and in 2 other countries (Japan and Turkey) over the years.This November will make 24 years for us. We have definitely had our ups and downs! Some people thought our marriage wouldn’t last cause we were young. My husband was almost 21. Like yourself, I went from living with my mom to living with my husband. Then to top it off, he decided to join the military to make a better life for us. But he got a package deal….I had a little girl (from a previous relationship) who turned 14 months old the day we married. But sometimes things are meant to be…you see we had dated for a few months his senior yr in h.s. and broke up. Then when my daughter was about 6 months old, he came back into my life and the rest is history. So yes it can work as long as you both want it too even if you are young!!
actually 7 states
I got married when I was 18. I had my son when I was 20 & received my bachelors when I was 23. EVERYTHING is possible and I enjoy being able to live all this milestones with my husband. Next week is our 5 year anniversary and it has been a blessing to experience growing up together 🙂 it’s never easy but I’m glad i have someone to share my life with. 🙂
We got married at 19 too. Not pregnant, not forced or settling, just ready to make the choice. It’s been 14 years, 3 kids, going on our 4th house, 4 military deployments and everything that goes with it. So far it seems to be working just fine for us 🙂
I was 23! I know that isn’t as young as 19 but it was young compared to a lot of people I grew up with. My mom was 29 when she got married. For me, I just wanted to do a few things before I got married and I had done them. When I met my husband, we just knew. We didn’t see why we would wait any longer. We are now just a few weeks away from 13 years of marriage and although it hasn’t always been easy, I am still so glad we got married when we did. Thanks for sharing this post!
Hi Julie! 23 is certainly still young haha. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m glad you enjoyed the article 🙂 Have a wonderful anniversary!
What is your back-up plan if you have no education, you have kids and divorce or a tragedy happens? Unfortunately those are realities. You didn’t get into it, but if someday your husband isnt there to take care of you and your future kids financially, how will you live?
Thanks for your comment Heather, always good to have another perspective. However, my husband is a student and I am the primary source of income. Despite not going to to college, I do fine financially and enjoy my work as do many “uneducated” individuals. 🙂
I was engaged at 19, married at 20 , first kid (planned) at 21. We are now about to celebrate our 20th anniversary, and that baby just got engaged himself at 19! 😀 ♡
Thanks for sharing Tammy! And congratulations to your son on his engagement. I hope the next 20 years are just as great as the first. 🙂
I was married at nineteen, had my first child at 21 second at 24…and this past March, we celebrated our 43rd Wedding Anniversary. I was a stay at home Mom, a Brownie leader, soccer coach, classroom volunteer, band parent…and numerous other roles. Now I’m a Gramma…the best role ever I might add. I just turned 63 and I’m young enough to truly enjoy my Grandkids…all four of them from 5 yrs. old to 14 yrs. old. We have had two businesses..we are self-employed and we have had our struggles, but we work together, we’ve grown together, and we know that God is the one that through our faith Holds us together. If you put Christ first in your married life…nothing is impossible! Nothing worthwhile is ever easy!! God Bless you and your marriage.
Hello Denise! Thank you so much for your kind words. There is nothing better for me than hearing encouragement from women who have experiences long, happy marriages. I love your positivity and your story is truly beautiful.
Message From The Author:
I am overwhelmed by the response to this article and just want to say thank you to everyone who has read and shared my story. I also want to thank those who have offered words of encouragement and shared their wonderful stories with me. I would love to reply to each and every one and assure you I am working my way through them to do so!
I also want to thank those who may have sent some negativity my way in regards to this article. Despite the fact that the vast majority of feedback has been amazingly positive and kind, I welcome people’s judgement on my life and who I am because it only makes me stronger.
Thank you everyone and keep reading!
Great article. 🙂 But I’m going to pick on your last point just a little bit: “Love is not enough. …Marriage is constant effort and a desire to always strive for what’s best for your marriage and for your partner above what you may want. It is self-sacrificing, communicating, and always sticking together when things get rough.”
Isn’t that the very DEFINITION of love – doing what is in the other person’s long-term best interests without regard for yourself?
I know what you meant… the “gushy feelings” of romantic love worshiped by our society are not enough to pull you through for the long haul. But that’s precisely the problem – we confuse eros love with agape love, and try to make it do things it was never meant to do.
(I was also going to comment on the need for you to have marketable job skills in case you need to work, but I see that you addressed that above and that you are indeed working… good deal.) 🙂
Great article. Contrary to some beliefs marrying young does not put your life on hold. I got married when I was 20. I am now 22 and I earned my bachelors degree this past May. In less than a month I will be a high school teacher and coaching the school’s volleyball team. My husband is finishing up his last year of undergrad and we will be heading off to graduate school next year. We have 2 paid off cars that are in great condition, a house, and a healthy savings account. It hasn’t been easy, but with the help of God, hard work, and the support of our families, we are making it work and we fall in love all over again each day.
I hope all works out well for you. There is a lot to be said for growing up together, but of the women I know who married under twenty who are my age (near fifty), eighty percent of them are divorced and very angry about having their lives “stolen,” even though they were warned loud and long by everyone who has been there before them and even though they chose their path with what they considered to be open eyes.
Brain development isn’t complete until twenty-five, but if you are BOTH committed to each other and very patient and very aware that the personality of the person you end up with is unlikely to be the personality of the person you started out with, you can have a long and happy life together, all the better for starting early.
I encourage all my kids to wait, but if they don’t, I pray they’ll be happy and if they aren’t I pray they will make better decisions the next time they choose.
You pointed out 50% of the reasons people wait to get married but you are missing way much and only time can tell if you indeed made a good choice – one reason you forgot is that people change with age when you are in your late teen’s and early 20’s your character is somewhat consistent but once you hit 27+ you realize that you are a different person, differnt needs, goals, and so many other things. Wish you the very best LM
This is like my story too! I got married at 18 though and before I finished high school, I married my best friend who is in the military. I got all the judgement needed from friends and family. It has been especially hard on my family. They don’t realize that I’m happy and I love what I’m doing. I’m turning 21 here soon and they see me not going to school as a waste of my years and a waste of my time. But I want to be a mom, I want to have kids while I’m still young and be able to enjoy the time I have with them. Too many people wait too long to have kids and sometimes it’s too late. I’m glad you wrote this, I’m sharing it in hopes that my family will r e ad it and try to understand where I’m coming from!
I’m glad you enjoyed the article Ciara and thank you so much for sharing it with others!
I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity to share it and get the fantastic feedback from others 🙂
Having your tenth anniversary before your 30th birthday? Try having your 30th anny before turning fifty! You have your whole life to explore these things–I have relished being able to do it with the same person. People told us that as we “grew up” we would “grow apart”. So we committed to “grow together” and we have. Thirty years and twelve children later, I wouldn’t change a thing. We have been each other’s safe haven through some very stormy waters and I am thankful for the shelter and to be able to be the shelter.
Reading this really brought tears to my eyes. My path is almost the exact same as yours. Although I got pregnant at 18 but married the love of my life at 20 and I wouldn’t change anything about that. You couldn’t be any more correct when you say love isn’t enough. There is constant sacrafic and communication. Those are things we work on everyday. Thank you for writing this it’s really great to know there are other people in the world who understand and appreciate being married at a young age despite all the stigma and strange questions that come with it.
I’m so happy you enjoyed the article Macie!! I have been enjoying reading everyone’s stories and realizing there are many others like me!
I swear reading this it was like I could have written it! My husband and I got married when I was 18, two weeks after I graduated high school. I graduated 7th in my class and could have gone to college anywhere but decided instead to start our life together. My daughter was born 9 months later as a honeymoon child and people will still look at us 19 years later and say oh you got married because you were pregnant?…umm no, we planned our wedding for six months…its been hard but we have grown together and I wouldn’t trade a moment of my life for what could have been. Thanks for sharing your story and may you be blessed with many more years of love.
Thank you for this my boyfriend and i have already decided to get married but due to what our families might deem acceptable we choose not to say anything yet. I felt it would be hard for us and i know that no matter what hard times will come and go. Also my family mainly my mother would assume i was pregnant and that’s why he proposed when in reality we truly love each other. It almost feels like they are so hung up on me finishing college which is something that i wasn’t but i also want to officially be Mrs. Lacour. And in their eyes there is no room for that. … It’s almost like what i want doesn’t matter or isn’t right for me.
Thanks for reading and sharing your story Aria! Keep your head up and do what makes you happy. It’s not easy to go against the status-quo but it’s worth it sometimes!
Good for you! I married my wife before I graduated with my B.A., and I’ve never regretted it. Also, I hope no one calling themselves a feminist ever said your decisions are invalid or that they are setting any movement back. I am an ardent feminist and firmly support the right of every woman to make her own decisions about her own life. We’re all worthy.
Thanks for your comment, Rebecca.
That’s definitely a major point I try to make when writing about my decisions in regards to my marriage and education. Being a feminist and tearing down a women for making an informed, definitive decision for her own happiness, simply cannot co-exist! Thank you for reminding me that not everyone disagrees with me on this! haha 🙂
Married at 16, and just celebrated out 26th anniversary. Both have college degrees, but I am a stay at home mom to a daughter whom I home school!
Should say we didn’t “have” to get married all those years ago. Didn’t have a child until we had been married 11 years!
I was married at 18. Yes, we did have a baby before marriage. Yes, I graduated high school pregnant. BUT I met the man my freshman year in high school, we dated all four of those years and I knew I wanted to spend my life with him. I know plenty of people who have known someone for only a few months to one year before marrying. I made my choices in life and I’m happily living with them. I have an Associate’s Degree, which I obtained while married with a very young child. I’m 23; I just celebrated my five year anniversary, and I have a child in kindergarten. Yes, I sacrificed my “selfish years,” but I am perfectly okay with that. I would rather spend them making memories with someone I love than spend them in a college dorm room drinking or partying.
Thank you for sharing this!
I’m glad you enjoyed the article! And thank you for sharing your story.
It amazes me to find so many women (and men) like me through this article!
i love ur article.don’t know for those who are criticizing maybe they made their wrong choices in their life’s.God never said anything about age.love matters, mie and my husband to be are planning to get married in December. reading articles of young couples marriage made mie to b strong and to stand up for wat i love,i am proud of my decision life is not the same with my friends or people around mie. dating for years and still date its hard. i have known my bf for 8 gud years.so why not do it coz we love each other, and God wl alwyz b first.
My wife and I were married young as well. She was 19 and I was 22. It’s only been 3 years and we have done SO MUCH together! Before we were married a year we decided to have a child, and me start engineering school. Then before 2 years we bought and remodeled a home, and started 2 businesses. Before three years we had our second daughter. She is now 4 months old. I work full time and school full time and manage both business. She works her tail off keeping the house up and kids tended, and thinking of school for herself. We get put down so often from people about how crazy and stupid we are. But we are so much more happier knowing that we get to be young with our kids and that we have spent our whole adult lives together. Yes it’s tough as nails but we grow closer together as we go threw them, that is what makes us happy. My mother in law and my mother was the only family that supported our decision in our families, we were “just to young for that kind of commitment” but that is what young people need, to be committed to something and nothing better than to be 100% committed to someone you love.
Good for you for making your decision to make and keep the most important decision in your life. Also for being open to help others who are going threw that emotional and difficult time of fitting the world to make yourself happy.
Fighting not fitting
Me and my boyfriend of 2 years want to get married so bad. He’s 22 and I’m 19. We love each other mad want to express our love for each other to the world. By if we did we wouldn’t have money for an apartment by ourselves. We live with his brother and his girlfriend right now. Also I’m pretty sure my family would be slightly disappointed since I’m so young. So I was just wondering if anyone could give me advise in what I should do. Should I wait? (Which would be extremely hard but I would) or should we just do it?
I have never been married but engaged several times. I have always been “saved” before I commit marriage by finding out the deal breakers. I could have married my boyfriend of 5 years when I turned 20 but knew that I had a whole life ahead of me. I am so glad that I stayed single. I have no regrets and have 3 college degrees, a teaching credential and a daughter who just turned 16. I met a great guy when I was 49. We’ve been together for 5 years and plan to marry in 2020 to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. I will be turning 60 that year. He has been divorced for 13 years and has 4 adult children. We live 120 miles apart and are in no big rush. We have never had a single disagreement and get along perfectly. I don’t see that changing after we are married and living together because we are so alike in many ways. Sometimes we wish we had met earlier but then we wouldn’t have had the many amazing life experiences that we have individually had. My friends think I am crazy for waiting until 60 but I tend to do things a bit backwards. I am excited about our future life together and am thrilled that I didn’t marry any of those other times. My 50’s have been my best decade yet. Most days I don’t feel a day over 18. My mom married young (21) and regretted every day of it and still to this day at 79 talks about her poor choice. Glad to see that many of these young marriages have worked out. Enjoy every moment!
Honestly,all comments have really encouraged me,I’m 19 and I have known him for more than a year now,we plan to get married as soon as I graduate from college,that’s next year and I’ll be 20,but everyone is looking at me with the eyes that says”are you crazy”,because they feel I’m way too young,but it’s what I want and I’m glad you wrote this article. Thanks.
I got married at 20 and it was the best thing I ever did:) Don’t let people’s judgement affect you.
I think it is not much your age as it is your maturity.there are 20 year olds who are mature enough to marry and handle the pressure and 20 year olds that are not.i don’t think one should marry that early,but if one decides to do so then that person should be psyched by being told the truth about marriage and what will be expected of him/her,so that they can take an informed decision.thank you
I really liked your post 🙂 I got married at 20 years old and I agree it is hard but so so worth it. Also good for you doing what YOU want and what’s right for you. I am about to finish my masters in Cvil Engineering and my husband is about to graduate in Mechanical Engineering and we just love it. And it was what was right for each of us. The reason society is always so judgemental is because so many people are always judging people for not doing life just like them, but we all have our own paths we need to take. Good luck with everything and your little family:)
Wish I could get support! I am 23 and my mom tells me every time I talk about a child that I “can/should wait.” My grandparents were married 8 months before my aunt was born and my mom was a single mother at 25, and they have both shared the struggles but it doesn’t scare me as I have an amazing partner in my life. Salem and I only met 8 months ago, but I left a miserable relationship knowing he was what and who I wanted to spend my life with. Now it’s a struggle because he’s family all knows and are all for it as I am “the best he’s ever had” and “a good girl” but my family, who is more on the conservative side, have no idea. Already my doesn’t like Salem because he’s causing our relationship to fall apart but I’m constantly telling her that it is only for the reason that I’m trying to build a life with him and things for him and I take precedence. Salem starts to get frustrated cause he would marry me tomorrow and since I’ve had failed relationships this is the first where I am weary of moving forward until we absolutely know(time frame wise) we are poorer than dirt but i wouldn’t trade anybody else to figure this shit out with. He knows things I don’t and vice versa. Basically, writing this to get some advice. Do I just say screw and marry him and start a family like we both want or do I go with what the norm should be and what others expect. Two are huge steps in another direction.
Gillian, I’m 19 and male, and proposed to my fiance’ at the age of 18. I’m looking forward to starting my life and thank you for the heads up on marriage!! My biggest fear is that of being a male we tend to want to explore other women and I don’t want that to affect my relationship!! I’ll try to work on that because I love this girl to death!!
Thanks for sharing this Dillan! Temptation doesn’t end because you get married but you always have a choice. I think at the end of the day, love is about choosing each other no matter what, even on the hardest days. Best wishes for your marriage!
I came upon this because I am in the same situation as you were. I’m 19 and getting married and my fiance proposed to me. At first I was hesitant because I was so young and I was planning on going to college in FL. After some time I realized I didn’t care what the status quo was anymore, that I could not live without my fiance. I tried to imagine my life without him and I couldn’t…especially since we already talked about having kids together and building our own dream house. I understand 19 is a young age to get married at, but who says I have to put all my goals and dreams aside at the expence of my soon to be husband? I can still go to college and strive for a successful career! The knly difference is that I will have a supporting partner cheering for me every step on the way. Thank you so much! This was definitely inspiring!
Love this Anastasia! Exactly how I feel! Thanks for reading, I’m glad I could help 🙂
Comment:my boyfriend proposed to me but my mother says the is no way I get married I need to go to college first have my own things before settling down,am currently working and was planning on going to college before he popped the question,please advice me what must I do
Prudence the only advice I can give is to make the decision that’s best for YOU. Having a solid support system is really important and I know my journey would be a lot harder without my family’s support. You mom just loves you and wants what’s best. Also know that marriage shouldn’t force you to compromise on your other goals. If you want to go to college, you should be able to. Think about all your goals and options, then make the decision that you feel is best.
I got married last October, I was 19 and he was 20. It’s been tough, as we’re learning to be adults and learning to be married simultaneously. He never lived away from home before this. But it is wonderful! And I’ve gotta say, there’s something pretty cool about knowing I could possibly have a 70th wedding anniversary 🙂 Great article!
Your article is on point! I met my future husband at 18 and we were engaged 3 weeks later. I told him if we’re still together in 2 years I’d marry him. So at 20 years old we married and a year later I graduated from college. We now have a 2 year old girl and will be celebrating 6 years of marriage next month 🙂 I thank God everyday for my husband and daughter and couldn’t imagine not having them. ♡ we had so many people saying we were too young and it wouldn’t last but I love proving them wrong! Lol
Thanks for sharing your story Amanda! And Happy Belated Anniversary 🙂 🙂
I loved reading this, it gives me even more hope that I know my relationship is gonna last. My boyfriend had just recently proposed, we’re both 19, and I told my mother about it and she had told her friend. I got constructive criticism from both but almost everything they said sounded negative and they were both saying how I need to rethink my decision, that I’m not thinking straight, and need to wait so I don’t ruin my life.
Congratulations on your engagement! Support is a huge help! Remember your mom just loves you and wants what is best but also don’t be afraid to stand your ground and make your own decisions. Wishing you the best <3
I don’t get to understand why you should care about my life where else you have your own.Telling me am too young for marriage and am in love and I feel he is the right man for me …of all the men I had ,hurt me but when am pressed he is there to support me.jeeez ! mind your life and let me make more be if I fail I will be the one to blame….am an adult now and am not young to do what an adult like me can do…
I don’t understand what you’re saying here.. At no point in this article is anyone told what to do with their life.. it’s quite the opposite actually. Also, the article is from the perspective of someone who married young and it’s a positive point of view so definitely not sure what you’re talking about.
Actually it told everyone to do what they feel is right for them. So often as a woman now you feel looked down on for making more traditional decisions. Like we’re taking women’s rights back two steps. However, women’s rights should include the right to be a stay at home mom or choose a very gender stereotypical career if it’s what she wants. She’s saying “you do you” when it comes to love and life decisions.
Sorry meant for the comment you were replying to actually
This was SO helpful in so many ways! I’m getting married in May and I will be 18 and he will be 19 and this article took the words right out of my mouth. We have considered SO many things that society has thrown at us… but nothing has phased the fact that we’re getting married. I’m excited for it all – easy and hard! Thank you for writing this article!!
Wow. I absolutely love this. I will be getting married next year, June 10th, and I will be 17. Thankfully my mom and dad are on board. They have been very supportive through everything. He is 23. We’ve been together for a year. I suppose it may even sound taboo to those reading this article and agreeing with it, but I feel it is right. I don’t want to party, drink and go to clubs, and frankly, that’s what everyone I know is doing. I am excited to start my life with him, and my family is excited for us. I guess that’s all that matters.
This is so amazing, i will be getting married next july ( i will be 19 at the time) and this really made me realize that all the judgments i go through are not as bad as i think they are. we are both very hard working people, and i believe that we can work through all the obstacles life may throw at us. thank you for sharing! its nice to know we’re not the only ones out here.
My wife and I got married at 20, we just had our 12th anniversary. We have an 11 year old, and a 3 year old. once they are grown, and married themselves, we will be in our 40s still. My wife and I will have another lifetime to spend TOGETHER! Not to mention grandkids by the time we are 45 or 50, perhaps GREAT grandkids by the time we are 70! I think watching your own posterity is a tremendous blessing, that not a lot of people get to see past their own children, or grandchildren, because they waited to be married until later.
I am getting married next month! My soon to be husband is 19 and I’m only 18. We dated all through high school and he proposed the night of our graduation. We just knew it was time to get married. It’s so nice to read something like this because people can be so rude to us about our age. We are also like you though and have full support from our families and even our community! Thank you so much for sharing your story though, made my day brighter. 🙂
I completely agree with every bit of this! I got married a month after I turned 18 for the simple reason of being in love. My husband joined the military June of 2015 and we got married December of 2015 and moved to Yuma where he is stationed in June of 2016. Anyways, everything you said in this post is very true. Marriage is not fun, marriage is actually very hard and sometimes It can be a huge struggle when it comes to compromising on every big decision. I love my husband to death but there are moments where I could kill him(jokingly). But then there’s moments that bring us closer and closer together that make me remember the reason we got married. Simply because we love each other and like you said I found the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life sooner than most but that’s okay! Anyways just had to comment and say I love the post!
I enjoyed reading your article and hearing your perspective. I do think you need to be careful, though. At times, the tone was a bit condescending and you came across as seeing yourself as a martyr, giving up SO much to sacrifice for the “cause” of marriage at an early age.
When you stated that there is difficulty in marriage at any age, I agreed. However, you then went on to say that it’s HARDER when young because your 20s are supposed to be your “selfish years when you get to do what you want”. Assuming that yours isn’t a marriage arranged by your family or government, you DID do what you wanted! You weren’t drafted or sold into your marriage were you? Did you kick and scream your way down the aisle? I assume that you didn’t, but rather, you happily and excitedly did what you WANTED to do: married the man you love and want to spend forever with. Have you ever been called selfish for doing that?
I married when I was young (22), and I am still happily married to my husband of 26 years. I never felt that what I did was harder than what my sister-in-law did. She married at 43 (she would have married much earlier, if she had had the opportunity) and had to make adjustments to her life that would be hard to make after 25 years of single-life adulthood. Those 25 years were HARD for her. I think they were as hard, if not HARDER, than my years of having fun, feeling loved, having children, and working with my husband.
By the same token, I don’t see your path as more difficult than that of my 21 year-old daughter’s path. You have a man in your life who (I assume) loves and cherishes you. You get to enjoy the friendship, romantic, and physical benefits of marriage. My daughter is lonely, not selfish. She would love to be in a relationship, let alone married. She is thrilled and considers herself lucky to merely be asked on a date by someone she thinks she’d enjoy spending time with. THAT sounds pretty hard, doesn’t it?
Be careful with your words. Be kind in your judgements and assumptions. You have a lot of life to live, and it’s best lived finding things in common with others, rather than one-upping and competing. Telling someone that their life is easier and more selfishly lived than yours (a life they may desperately want), is not the way to build understanding.
Ok here’s the deal..my son left at 19, to be with a woman 21, found out she was just separated, and has 2 kids. She had been separated for only 3 weeks, before my son moved in with her. She/they now live with her parents, in their basement. Now 6 weeks into this, he says they want to get engaged and marry within the year or as soon thereafter. They both just got jobs and as EMTS and don’t want to listen to anyone. Her ex has threatened her and she has a peace order out on him. I can’t believe my son has fallen so quick for this woman, he says it fun and she makes him happy. I think he is in for a world of problems for many many reasons….he doesn’t see anything and tells me to stay out and not ask questions. The only people who support him are her parents and his woman. Helping him understand this is crazy, you would think would be easy…we come from a large family and we are all very concerned for his safety and future life with this woman.. Wish this wasn’t true ..would like to hear some suggests and comments…
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for this! My husband and I (so excited to call him husband) literally just got married. Getting over a little home sickness but besides that we’re doing great! I just turned 19 today. He just recently turned 24. Yes I am a bit younger than him but I’m so happy to just be him. Both his parents and my mother have been very supportive of us. It is hard at first with any relationship, but we’ve built something incredible with God as our witness! Look forward always and things will fall in place. That’s love, in my opinion!
You have NO idea how happy I am to have found your post! I graduate from high school this year and this summer my boyfriend for almost a year and a half now (We were friends for awhile before dating) plans on proposing! We also plan on getting married this November. We have support from his family but mines a little more iffy about it because they want me to go to college..And because we’re so young. I’ll be 19 this year and him 20. College, however, is not my dream.. We’ve been through so much together, especially distance because he’s in the army. Like you, I’m just so so ready to get married to the Godly man I love wholeheartedly and eventually start a family of our own together. Thank you so so much for sharing this post. It just gave me the reassurance that I needed! To know that although it won’t be easy, and although not everyone will agree with us, we can do it. I can do this! I can be a wife at 19. Thanks again!
I’m 16 I just got married
crazy you dont have ot marry these days
Wow thats so so beautiful, I got married at my 18 but I didn’t tell my family… now the problems come, they know it and they want me to choose… it is hard because I really want to study but I really want to get married…. someone help me!
Such a great article. I felt so judged for my decision to get married last year. I’m 20. But I’ll be frank, I love married life. I’d rather come home to my apartment with my husband to make dinner and watch a movie in our PJ’s than be out dating or partying with friends. We’re adults who pay our own bills and are saving for a down payment for a house and building our credit. People say getting married at this age harms you financially making it harder to go to college and get a good job. Going to college can still be done. Also, I promise none of my friends who graduated high school with me are saving for a house or building credit. They’re making spending money then blowing it on vacations and fun. We were ready to build our future. I don’t look down on those who aren’t ready for that at our age, but I’m tired of feeling looked down on by others for my decision.
I have always wanted to be married young but it’s so hard now a days to find a guy that wants to do the same thing
Little late but I agree with a comment above that said it was condescending. I don’t see one way of life more selfish or less selfish. I think to too many of us settle for anything because we’re so dang afraid of not living society’s expectations of marriage and babies. Hello welcome to= 2017
To those saying you have been married 6 years after marrying at 18 come back when it’s 20.
Reading your fine articles of young marriages made me strong and to stand up for what i love. We’ve been married for 3 years now after meeting on xnairobi and have a one-year-old boy who is constantly making us happy. I wish success to everyone who are looking to find their life partner….i am proud of my decision life is not the same.
I’m so happy I came across this. My boyfriend and I want to get engaged this summer. We will both be 20 and dating for four years. My parents approve but his parents don’t. They claim that we’re “rushing into things” and that “knowing someone for four years when your 25 is so much more different than when you’re 20”. They didn’t say no, but they did say that they won’t support us if we continue our plans. The worst part is that they gave my boyfriend permission and support back in July! It’s not like we’re even going to get married until after we graduate college. Two year engagement. I just realized that I’m rambling, but to get back to your story, I’m so happy I came across this because it just reaffirms to me that AGE DOES NOT MATTER! Thank you for sharing.
19 is too young to marry. I believe anyone should be in at least one mid-term relationship other than their spouse. You don’t want to buy the first car you test drive until you’ve been in others.
People change too much in their teens and early twenties. I wish you success, but the statistics for marriage success at your age are saddening. I married at 26 and I thought that was too young, but the availability pool was shrinking. Please wait 5-6 years to have a child to see if the marriage lasts.
I too married at 19. My husband was 24, and we now have been happily married for 17 years . We have 3 beautiful girls 10, 8 ,and 5. I wouldn’t have done anything different. I think that it is a true blessing when you find your other half at such a young age. It’s a blessing that not everyone gets. And I ‘m happy to be one of the lucky ones. And blessings like that only come from heaven. Amen.
I absolutely agree. I’m 19, he’s 21. I’m getting married to my best friend next month. Getting married young, you get to grow together. Not yet set in your ways about the world, you can grow and experience the world as two very malleable, understanding people. I wouldn’t change a thing, and the time is definitely right. When you’re ready, you’re ready.
After having a disheartening talk with family, I typed into Google “I am 18 and engaged”. This story of yours gave me so much hope. My fiance and I have been dating for a bit over a year, and the year has been crazy. He proposed July 28th, 2018. He has been amazingly supportive with my mental health, my dreams, and goals while he still maintains being in school six hours away. In about a year he graduates and will be moving to live with me. In 2020 I am marrying my best friend, my love, and personal cheerleader. Long distance being thrown in the mix does make it hard, but reading stories of other women who have been through the same things makes me feel not alone or alien. The majority of my family is completely dumbfounded and doubtful of my relationship working out. However I am not doing it out of necessity (like for pregnancy or visa reasons), I’m wanting to be married because I have found the one that brings color into my life. I support him when he is having doubts about himself, and I truly admire every bit of his personality and behaviors. I want to grow as a person along side him.
Leelee. I got married a week before I turned 18 to a man who was 30 and had been married before and had a bad divorce and I was not really as ready as I thought I was but he had a good job and a home and yes it’s been hard but we’ve made it 32 years so far with 2 children and 3 grandchildren from older daughter who married first time at 18 but it didn’t work and remarried and is happy but now our 19 year old is dating and not yet ready to get married but yes it is hard and has been hard and now that we’re older it gets harder but with a strong love, God’s help and a will to fight for it we continue on.
Thank you so much for the advice! I am 19, and my future hubby and I are both working on associate’s degrees. We don’t see any use in waiting for too long to get married, and it just feels right, and we know this is what we want, that won’t change. But we do know that it is going to be harder than we can imagine, though we are doing our best to prepare. This advice will be put to good use!
I was married at 19 and I’m now 23. Going through college as a new bride was hard, but amazing. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. My husband and I grew closer through the sacrifices we made for each other. I just got into my dream school for my Master’s Degree, and I know I couldn’t have done it without my awesome husband! I am excited for a great career, kids, and life with the one I love.
I got married at 18 to a guy from my confirmation class when we were 16.We met at the start and hit it off right away and started dating.All thru high school we were very much in love! He proposed to me half way thru our senior year and started planning our wedding with the help of both our parents.When we were confirmed,our parish required us girls to wear a white,short sleeve,poofy,bridal style gown and veil with a tee shirt as our under top and a cloth diaper,plastic pants and white tights with white patent leather shoes.My mom put the entire outfit away and saved it,so my wedding outfit was all ready to go!The morning of our wedding,mom helped dress me just like she did for confirmation.She pinned the diaper on me then i put the plastic pants on over it,followed by the tights,then the tee shirt,then my gown,veil and the shoes! I was truely a virgin bride!