The 5 Love Languages set a roadmap for you and your partner to understand how to express love to one another by knowing what your partner views as love. Although the original intention of these languages was to aid in general, everyday expressions of love with your partner, they can easily be taken into the bedroom (or any other location where you enjoy to do the hanky panky). Sex can easily become stagnant and lose its magic, especially if you and your partner have been together for a while. If you don’t know your partner’s language already, take a few minutes for you to each do the free online quiz, then get to reading below and get ready to spice things up in Pleasure Town tonight.
Probably the simplest to understand of all the Love Languages, these people best understand and desire love through physical contact. While this may seem straightforward when you’re “getting it on,” consider some finesse and careful consideration of all the places you can caress your partner. Really take the time to feel their skin, to stroke them gently and slowly, allow your hands to inspect every part of them. Try a little spanking or exploring their body with your tongue as well. For male partners, try using various parts of your body against theirs, get creative! For female partners, get those hands or lips on those breasts…trust me.
Acts of Service
If your lover is an “Acts of Service” lover, they see the things you do for them as an expression of love. Sure, intercourse itself could be considered an “act of service,” but everyone gets bored with the simplicity of missionary style from time to time. This partner is hungry for you to please them, to give them a time like never before. Start with a massage, some foreplay, or other warm-up activities. Also, try all the other fun ways to please them before jumping into penetration land: use your hands or go for some good ole oral sex.
If your partner’s language is in receiving gifts, they often equate money or material objects with love. In the bedroom, this can be done so many ways. Consider buying some extra sexy lingerie, books or videos (can be either to improve your game or just to enjoy with your eyes if you catch my drift) or invest in some toys for the bedroom. You’d be surprised what might happen if you bring some sex dice to the next event or even just some amazing lubricant.
Words of Affirmation
People who speak “Words of Affirmation” enjoy the feeling of validation and pride they get when you remind them just how amazing they are. For your affirmation seeking lover in the bedroom, they want to hear just how well they are pleasing you. Tell them what they are doing right and just how it makes you feel. Consider describing what you are feeling in your body or what changes you are having with your genitals as a result of their foreplay or motions. Don’t hold back those sweet moans or sensual screams, because those will just excite your lover to give you more. Seriously, who doesn’t want this in the bedroom?
Quality Time lovers not only want you physically present with them, but they want you emotionally present as well. Try to be completely present for them in the bedroom: make eye contact, don’t talk about your day or how you really want a sub sandwich. Give your undivided attention and make the moments last. They won’t want the night to end, so go slow, really take your time, show them what they mean to you. The best parts for those who love quality time are the moments right before orgasm and the time you take to continue to love them after intercourse is done, so make the magic last and hold them tight after. Consider taking time to spoon, stroke their hair, or continue to kiss and play for a while. All those little ways you show that you are giving your attention to them really make the most impact.
Is your partner still hungry for more? Try mixing things up by changing the location of your intercourse or switching roles. If you really want to get wild, consider hosting a sex party or other kinky event. Whatever you do, don’t let things get stagnant.
Previously Published on Thought Catalog