An Honest Review Of “Kinda Korean” As An Asian American

As both an Asian American and a mental health therapist specializing in racial identity, feminist theory, and trauma-informed care, I have had the privilege of working with clients who struggle with the impact of intergenerational trauma, as well as having personal experience. In Kinda Korean, Joan Sung explores the complexities of these inherited wounds. Sung offers readers an intimate, sometimes painful, and empowering narrative of growing up as a first-generation Korean American woman. Her exploration of the deep-rooted trauma passed down from her immigrant parents who escaped Korea, leaving their own family behind, and the personal and societal battles she faces speaks to what it means to live as part of a racialized group within the United States.

A Story of Struggle, Resilience, and Healing

Kinda Korean is a story of intergenerational trauma. Sung recounts her coming-of-age journey with a “Tiger Mom,” whose strict expectations from academics to household tasks and lack of understanding of American society created an emotionally charged and sometimes traumatic environment. Many immigrant households share this familial dynamic, where first-generation immigrant parents struggle with emotional distance from their American-born children, often feeling a sense of disconnection. Sung details how her mother, deeply committed to “perfection” and achievement, couldn’t understand or support her as she navigated the dual identities of Korean and American. This disconnect is an example of how generational trauma manifests not only in cultural differences but also in family dynamics.

Sung’s exploration of the “Tiger Mom” stereotype based on the pressure placed on children in immigrant families to succeed at all costs is one I relate to both personally and professionally. As a trauma therapist, I have seen firsthand how the hyper-demanding nature of Tiger Moms and the pressure of being a model minority can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy in children of immigrant parents. The idea of the “model minority” is harmful because it places an enormous weight on children to meet impossible standards of achievement and behavior. The constant pressure for academic and career success often overlooks the emotional and psychological toll it takes on children’s mental health, resulting in adverse childhood experiences.

Microaggressions and the Fetishization of Asian Women

Sung’s memoir does not shy away from the painful reality of microaggressions that Asian Americans face daily. As a first-generation Korean woman, Sung wrestles with both subtle and overt forms of racism that shape her sense of self-worth. From enduring the fetishization of Asian women in American culture to being made to feel like an outsider in her own community, Sung’s experiences echo a broader narrative faced by many people of color, especially Asian women, who are often reduced to stereotypes.

In Kinda Korean, Sung writes about how her experiences with microaggressions and objectification during the COVID-19 pandemic were compounded by the historical and ongoing racism that Asian American communities have endured. Through her candid writing, Sung connects the personal to the political, using her research on race and representation to contextualize the rise in anti-Asian violence during the pandemic.

Generational Trauma and the Healing Journey

Growing up with a Filipino mother from a family deeply rooted in Catholic values and collectivist traditions, I experienced a unique tension between two worlds. On one hand, the strong emphasis on academics, religion, and family in my Filipino upbringing instilled a sense of duty, discipline, and interconnectedness. On the other hand, the individualistic ideals of American society often felt foreign, as they clashed with the collectivist expectations that shaped my family’s way of life.

I was caught between being “not Asian enough” for the Asian community, where my connection to the culture often felt insufficient, and “not white enough” for American families, where I could never fully assimilate. 

These values became ingrained in my childhood and shaped my path toward becoming a therapist. I wanted to help others who have also navigated the difficult intersections of cultural identity and generational trauma. I recognized that, to break these cycles, I first needed to break them in my own life, to consciously challenge the inherited beliefs around perfection and success before I even had children of my own.

As a trauma-informed therapist, I often work with clients to understand how generational trauma manifests in their lives. 

In the case of immigrant families, stories, behaviors, and unspoken expectations pass down this trauma. For many children of immigrants, the struggle lies in balancing their parents’ desire for success with the psychological toll of those demands.

Sung’s story is a powerful reminder that the trauma experienced by one generation does not simply disappear. Other generations, often unconsciously, inherit it. However, Sung’s willingness to break the generational silence that has long plagued her family, as I try to do in my own life, allows healing to begin—not just for herself but also for others who identify with her experiences.

As a mental health professional, I believe Kinda Korean will resonate with anyone who has felt the weight of cultural expectations and the lasting impacts of generational trauma. Sung’s raw vulnerability and emotional honesty offer a powerful example of how we can begin to heal from the wounds of our past, breaking cycles of silence and shame. For anyone seeking to better understand the intersection of racial identity, generational trauma, and resilience, this book will provide both a relatable story and help with healing from the wounds of generational trauma.

Featured image via Min An on Pexels