How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Spice Up Your Sex Life

It’s perfectly normal to want to try new things with your partner to spice up your sex life. Sex should be fun for everyone, and there’s no shame in trying out new things or being curious. 

You should be comfortable talking to your partner about sex. Sometimes the  conversation can be daunting. Here are seven tips to help you take the next step. 

1. Be Confident 

Talking about sex isn’t just about being comfortable with your partner, but confident in yourself. If you struggle with self-esteem, try to work on your own confidence and find ways to gradually increase it. 

If you sound confident and excited when you’re addressing what you want to try, it will make your partner feel more comfortable and encourage them to give it a go. If you sound like you’re unsure, it can create awkwardness because your partner will pick up on your uncertainty. 

It might take some practice to be more confident talking about sex, but take small steps to get to a point where you can tell each other what you want without hesitation. 

2. Don’t Sound Negative 

Try not to start the conversation with a negative opening. This can make your partner feel like their performance in the bedroom isn’t enough and can discourage them from sex altogether. 

Opening up new insecurities won’t encourage progression at all. Your partner might not give themselves enough credit for their sexual performance as it is. 

It’s okay to boost their ego a little every now and then. Tell them that you love having sex with them and how great it is for you. When you’re talking about sex, you need to sound positive. 

3. Ask What They’re Into

Find out what your partner likes. What turns them on? What makes them want more? This opens up a window for you to talk about trying new things by saying, “I know you like this now, so I’ll do it more; maybe we could try this too because I like it.” 

Even if you’re single and want to open up to someone about trying this, you could try using hookup sites to meet someone new that shares similar curiosities. Learning more about each other this way and exploring each other’s pleasures make sex more fun for both of you. Be open with each other and talk about what makes you feel good. 

4. Play Bedroom Games

There are endless ideas people have come up with when it comes to games you can play in the bedroom. You could even create and try out your own. There are things you can buy (like sex dice or spinning wheels) and apps you can use to play bedroom games. It’s a great way to make sex even more fun. 

5. Don’t Push 

If your partner says no or isn’t ready to try new things, don’t force it. This can ultimately be detrimental to your relationship and push you away from each other. There is so much more to a relationship than sex, but of course, it is important. 

Some people need more time to feel comfortable with sexual, physical contact, which is okay. All you can do is respect that and take small steps to progress the sexual side of your relationship. 

6. Set Some Boundaries 

Setting boundaries can help you and your partner feel more comfortable trying new things. If you’ve been thinking about trying something for a while but aren’t sure how you’ll feel at the moment, put some safe words and boundaries in place for each other. Sometimes we test new things and find it’s not what we expected. 

7. Pick the Right Time 

It can be difficult to bring up a conversation about sex. Sometimes you’ll just know when it’s the right moment.

 If you doubt when the right time is, why not talk about sex after you’ve had sex? Talk about what you liked and what felt good, then throw in the “we could try…” Smooth, right? Don’t be scared of talking to your partner about sex. What’s the worst that could happen? If anything, it’s more likely to bring you closer together. 

Talking about sex can be difficult. Like anything else, practice makes perfect. Take small steps and follow these tips to try to encourage your partner to comfortably try something new. 

Sex is fun, and it’s meant to be experimented with. Everybody is different; everyone feels things differently. What works for your last sexual partner might not work for your current sex life, but there’s no harm in talking about sex at all.

Featured Image by Adam Kontor from Pexels

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