Meatloaf could talk the talk, but I’ve walked the walk. I moved 2,000 miles across the country, leaving everything and everyone behind, all for love. I’d truly do anything for love. Well, almost anything.
There are certain pieces of me that are off-limits, even to the love of my life. Why? Because selling those parts of my soul would force me to give up integral parts of myself.
I would do anything for love, except for these five things:
1. Change who I am.
What’s the point of someone falling in love with you if the person whom they love isn’t truly you? Yes, we all want to be the best possible versions of ourselves for the ones we love, but we should always be true to ourselves in the process.
We’re all guilty of trying to be someone we’re not in order to impress someone else, but it’s not worth it. Even if you’re able to “fake it until you make it,” you’ve merely created a persona that not only requires precious energy to maintain, but is also distinctly not you.
Don’t change for your partner, and enjoy the love that you’ve earned.
2. Give up on my dreams.
Our dreams are who we are, and it can be tempting to transfer that drive and energy onto our loved ones.
Even if you’ve found the person of your dreams, don’t give up on your own. Your partner will support you in your goals and desires, not demand that you sacrifice them.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Find someone who will gaze outwardly with you, not require your entire focus.
3. Abandon my friends or family.
I suppose I’m technically guilty of this, but I haven’t — and won’t — lose touch with the people who matter most. If the object of your love truly loves you, they’ll understand that they can’t be the only loved one in your life.
Often, in a romantic relationship, you wind up spending so much time and energy on your partner that you forget to properly nurture your other important relationships.
Abandon ship if your partner tries to take you away from your family and friends. If they really care about you, they’ll support you seeing other loved ones.
4. Be a doormat.
Becoming a doormat can happen innocently enough. You love someone dearly, and you want to please them every chance you get. But always remember that you and your partner should be a team. An equal partnership doesn’t demand subservience in return for love. On the contrary, each person in an equal partnership gives just as much as they receive.
5. Deceive or hurt others.
When it comes to relationships, I’ve seen and done it all. But at the end of the day, I’ll never compromise my values or hurt others in my quest to find “the one.”
Bob Alaburda is a former contributor to YourTango.
Originally published on YourTango.