Unless you are an only child, a time will come when your sibling’s significant other will seriously displease you. This can be a very complex situation to navigate, and you may not know what to do.
Luckily, over the past few years, I’ve become somewhat of a professional in this arena. Although I’ve learned a few things on my own, I’ve mostly learned from my amazingly knowledgeable, mature mother.
As a young adult, when I didn’t like my sibling’s significant other, I was rude and snippy. I even screamed and berated my sibling for their “stupid decision” and was equally rude to their partner.
As I’ve grown, I’ve realized that this behavior does not benefit anyone. More often than not, it actually drives your sibling further into their significant other’s arms. My behavior made me look like the bad guy… and solved none of my problems.
When you meet your sibling’s better half, it’s most important to not judge a book by it’s cover. This is hard because these days, judging others is almost second nature to us. Oftentimes, we judge someone before we even realize we are doing it! Before you unleash your inner mean girl (or boy), get to know this new person in your sibling’s life. Ask them questions and genuinely listen to their answers. You will be surprised how much you can learn just by listening. Remember that sometimes first impressions aren’t accurate and connecting with someone new takes time.
If something still feels off after you’ve spent time with your sibling’s new love interest, ask your family or close friends about it. There may be something happening behind the scenes that you don’t know about. You may be overreacting, or they may even have similar feelings about you!
Also, try talking to your sibling about the situation. Voice your concerns in a calm and respectful manner. They may shrug off your thoughts, but you’ll feel better after you’ve put them out there. Remember that sometimes love makes us blind to flaws, and dislike can magnify small quirks in just the same way.
At the end of the day, try to respect your sibling’s relationship choices. The best thing to do for any relationship is to continue loving your sibling and accept their choice. If it’s meant to be, you may eventually warm up to your sibling’s new partner. If there’s an issue, your sibling will eventually see exactly what you have and kick that loser to the curb.
Navigating your sibling’s relationship with their significant other can be tough, but with a little patience and maturity, you can deal with anything they throw your way. Show your sibling a little love… so they can show theirs.