Finding a good man is hard these days. So when you have one, you really have to hold on tight. It’s easy to get confused by the hundreds of imposters you’ll become acquainted with during your lifetime. Luckily, there are ways to determine which ones are keepers in this chaotic world. Basically, if he doesn’t do these basic things in your relationship, you should dump him immediately.
He doesn’t always have to open the door for you, but he should at least treat you like his equal. He shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself or degrade you. Instead, he should be lifting you up and constantly reminding you that your opinions and beliefs are valid. If he doesn’t respect you, leave him.
Make an effort.
Once you make it official, he shouldn’t stop trying. He should still initiate dates or spontaneous adventures, surprise you with flowers just because, or do whatever he can to remind you that he loves you and wants your relationship to work.
Tell you he loves you.
Once it’s openly said (because let’s be real — it’s daunting at first), he’ll always remind you how much he loves you. His communication will be open, honest and never-ending — so he better keep expressing himself to you.
Make you laugh.
He doesn’t have to be a stand-up comedian, but he should at least make you laugh every once in a while. Whether it’s a funny comment about something he’s getting passionate about or something stupid that makes you laugh and roll your eyes, there should be something. You should laugh and have fun with your S.O.
Listen to you.
When you talk about things of importance to you or your feelings, he should be all ears. If he cares, he’ll pay attention and will remember those conversations. Who knows, he might just surprise you every once in a while by remembering something from those old convos.
Show you off.
He doesn’t have to post endless pictures on Instagram, but he should still hold your hand in public and introduce you to people he knows. He should be eager to intertwine you with his life and make sure everyone important to him knows who you are too. If he doesn’t, I’d leave him.
Make you orgasm.
It is the 20s all over again, but it doesn’t mean the 1920s. The world is progressive and he should please you as much as you please him. One way or another, he’ll find a way and will succeed. If he doesn’t, he’s just selfish, clueless, and an idiot.
Comfort you when you need it.
He may not know exactly what you need in the moment, but over time he’ll learn how to comfort you correctly. He won’t be scared by a few tears. Instead, he’ll pull you in for a hug and listen to what you need to vent about.
Try new things.
It’s easy to fall into a comfortable pattern in relationships but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try new things. Whether it’s going to a cooking class just for shits and giggles or going on vacation to a place you want to go to and he doesn’t — he should make the effort to do it with you.
Make you feel beautiful.
If you feel bloated, are covered in back zits, or have hairy armpits — he should always convince you that you’re beautiful. And when you argue with him on that topic, he’ll stand strong and give you more reasons he finds you gorgeous. You’ll never doubt that he sees your beauty.
Be honest with you.
Trust and truth go hand in hand when dating, and honesty is always important. He won’t lie, and if he does, he’ll tell you the truth when you confront him. And chances are if he’s lying, it’s probably about a surprise he has planned for you. He’ll have nothing to hide otherwise. Dishonesty is a big reason to leave him.
Encourage you whenever you need it.
He’ll always be your number one cheerleader, and will give you every reason to pursue your dreams even when you’re deep in doubt. He’s seen your potential, knows your drive and will convince you that you are capable of anything.
Obviously some things go unsaid, like being faithful and committed. However, a lot of these other crucial traits need to be emphasized but often aren’t. Without them, your relationship is doomed. So if your man doesn’t do these things, you may want to find one that does as soon as you possibly can. Stop wasting your time!
Featured photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash.
[…] article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the […]