So, you worked up the nerve to invite the person you’ve had your eye on for coffee. Is the content of their Starbucks order a glimpse into your future together? Read on to find out!
Black coffee, plain
If they love black coffee, it screams, “I don’t do frills, I don’t do fuss, and I will drink whatever foul thing you put in front of me so long as it has caffeine in it. Don’t f*cking talk to me about bean types. So, what do you do for a living?”
Black coffee with a splash of milk
They read somewhere that sugar was bad for you but milk wasn’t, so milk is the only way that they sweeten their food anymore. They won’t have cake to go along with their drink, but they also won’t turn down a good sandwich.
They’ve definitely been to Italy.
They clearly have a death wish.
They have plenty of unthreatening opinions about paper versus plastic. They also use the phrase “There are always two sides to every story” to the point that you develop a permanent twitch.
What they’d really like is an old-fashioned milkshake and a banana split. Since the local coffee shop is sorely lacking in banana splits, they’ll take a mountain of whipped cream and three different flavour shots with a gingerbread cookie crumble for good measure.
They’re a hipster who will be more offended if you take them to a Starbucks than by anything else in the world. On your date, you might spend more time looking for a coffee shop that meets their high standards than actually sitting down in the coffee shop itself. Eventually, you will discover that their coffee shop of choice is better than anywhere you frequent.Your tastebuds will be mad at you for the rest of your life.
They are too much into “woo-woo” stuff. Also, they read Goop.
There’s a 110 percent chance that they’re a MLM rep. They’ll try to lure you in with an “I know we just met, but let me tell you about this amazing work opportunity that will bring you lots of money and change your life.” Run for the hills.
If they order before 10 am, they’re classy. If they order a cappuccino after 10AM, they’re still classy, but you just know that they’ve been reading stereotyping articles on the Internet before your date.
It’s boiling outside. Also, they just wanted a milkshake.
Coffee shaken over ice
They read that sugar is bad for them, and they want to make extra sure that the barista doesn’t slip them any unwanted flavoured corn syrup. That stuff is everywhere, don’t you know? And don’t even get them started on what GMOs do to your small intestine.
They’ve been to England, and they want you to know it.
They’ll probably say, “I just like trying new things and flavours and discovering the world.”Then, they’ll realize that the stuff tastes like the boiling interior of a fishtank and switch to black coffee really quickly.
No drink at all
Joy in life is for lesser beings. Also, your “date” will basically interview you from across the table.
Whether they habitually order a flat white or they’re a diehard latte fan, your date’s coffee order says a lot about their personality. So next time you’re on a coffee date, make sure your date has good taste – literally.
Featured Image From Jonathan J. Castellon via Unsplash
You know, I just read the list you’ve put out What your dates coffee order says about their personality. Although amusing I don’t agree with your statements. I drink black ice coffee. I also care very much from where my beans come from. Coffee from the Americas are far too bitter and require cream and sugar just to drink. I prefer beans of Ethiopian origin. This coffee has a rich and complex flavor that is not bitter. This coffee is very enjoyable black and iced. So what type of date does this make me? I will not drink bad coffee. I have wide and diverse interests and am not no-frills
I take it that you do not enjoy black coffee, you’ve not found the correct type of beans.
Clearly the author either doesn’t drink coffee or prefers cappuccino as her drink. If the author dates and uses this as her guide, she likely misses out on her dates true personality. Perhaps this was done humor, but if anybody takes this to heart, they may inevitably be drinking their cappuccino alone. I can’t imagine summing up a date by their coffee choice. Lol