As a society, we only focus on the red flags and what to avoid in relationships or other people. We usually don’t look for the important traits first. I’m as guilty of it as the rest of the world. But what we never stress enough is finding the green flags and desirable qualities in others. Particularly the more emotional and personal traits that help make relationships function.
So, here are some essential traits that you should look for in a great relationship:
1. They listen to you and support you.
There’s a difference between listening to someone for the sake of listening to them and actually hearing what they have to say. Following up after a conversation is incredibly important. Not only does it show that they truly were attentive during your conversation, but also that they remembered what you said. It also shows that they value you enough to help you in whatever way you need to get through your hardships.
2. They never deliberately put you down in public.
Public humiliation is one of the most degrading things anyone will ever experience. Someone who doesn’t put you down in public should be a given in any relationship. Obviously, there are those moments where you may be having a discussion with friends about something, say never folding laundry, and your partner might comment on how you fail to do so and it may embarrass you a bit. That’s normal and usually they’ll know what they did with a look. But someone who negatively bashes you in front of other people is an abusive person you need to cut off from your life.
3. They stop doing things that make you uncomfortable when you tell them.
Obviously, sometimes things can get too far. Whether it’s making a joke about getting a speeding ticket, hearing about how you threw up for getting too drunk or performing certain acts while having sex. But when you find the courage to vocalize what upsets you and makes you uncomfortable, they will actually stop doing it. It shows the respect they have for you and how much you mean to them. This is such a desirable quality!
4. They compromise when necessary.
Every couple needs to compromise every once in a while. Relationships are full of “give and take” situations by nature. But someone who always gets their way or demands that what they say goes is a mentally abusive person or someone who just isn’t aware that what they’re doing is toxic. If you find yourself with a partner who willingly compromises and encourages it, you have yourself a mature adult.
5. They support your ambitions.
No one wants someone who won’t support them. So having someone who actively shows they care and publicly displays ways they support you makes you feel like you are on top of the world.
6. They use a calm, rational tone during an argument.
We all get enraged to the point where we may scream uncontrollably because we’ve been pushed past our breaking point. But if someone acts this way every single time a minor argument comes up, then they need to go. Discussing the issue, working at moving past it, and learning from it is so important because this indicates emotional maturity and the ability to communicate effectively.
7. They can apologize when in the wrong.
I can’t stress enough how important this is. If the person is able to suck up their pride and admit they were wrong then they truly have a good character. We all make mistakes and apologizing can be really difficult. But this sign of maturity shows that they not only know how to communicate but that they also recognize the difference between right and wrong.
8. They help you grow.
Not only do you grow as a couple while in a relationship, but you also grow individually as well. Just because you are boo’d up does not mean you lose your identity as a person. So someone who compliments your growth is super important! They should encourage you, influence you, help you make decisions and ultimately support your journey in life as your teammate by never leaving your side.
Don’t follow someone who simply isn’t ready for a mature relationship or isn’t finished growing up yet. All of these traits may go unnoticed for how important they truly are, but I can promise you when you really think about these, they are the qualities you would want your long-term partner to have.
Feature image via We Heart It.