Why You Need To Learn To Love Yourself Before Jumping Into Another Relationship

As women, we’re often asked, “When are you getting into a relationship?” “Are you dating anyone?” “Are you on any dating apps?” And the questions continue on and on.

I’ve been single for a while and am wondering when and how I’ll get a boyfriend. I’ve recently noticed that to get into a healthy and secure relationship with anyone, I have to be in a healthy relationship with myself first.

Often, women have poor relationships with themselves. We don’t think that we’re pretty enough, smart enough, sexy enough, etc. These subconscious thoughts are shown to the world around us and the people we end up in relationships with. When we’re convinced that we’re not good enough or worthy enough, our insecurities eventually come out.

Even if you are in a relationship with someone incredible, you can only tell them how amazing they are so many times before you feel like they don’t listen to you.

But the thing is, we can be told we’re beautiful, confident, and amazing, but unless we believe it ourselves, we won’t think it is true.

Recently, a stranger told me I was beautiful; she was genuinely amazed by my beauty. Since then, I’ve been walking around with so much self-confidence. I look in the mirror and admire my features, acknowledging how beautiful they are. And I believe it.

For 26 years, I have been told how beautiful I am without believing it. But after this one compliment from a total stranger, my life has flipped upside down. 

I’m aware of how beautiful and great of a person I am. And I know that any guy would be damn lucky to be in a relationship with me. I’m in love with myself, and honestly, I’m not worrying about when I will be in a relationship. I’m just focusing on myself and loving my life as it is. And that’s what I’m supposed to do. 

We often get caught up in wondering when our person will come into our lives. We can’t wait until we’re no longer single. Because of that, we tend to forget that we’re supposed to love ourselves before we give our hearts to another person.

You can’t water from an empty pot. Giving love to someone when you don’t have much for yourself is not something that you should be trying to do.

When you love yourself, and I mean truly love yourself, you can share that love with another person. And that’s healthy. A healthy relationship occurs when both parties can give each other the same amount of love.

Now, I want you to go to a mirror and look at your features. And don’t just glaze over them; I want you to look at them. See all your freckles, wrinkles, and crinkles. Notice the color of your eyes and how the corners of your lips turn up when you smile. Look at all your features and realize how beautiful you are. Do this every day for a few minutes for a month and see where it takes you. I can promise you that once you love the person you see in the mirror, you’ll realize that’s where all your love needs to go. And when it happens, you’ll be in the perfect spot. Go ahead and love yourself; it’s OK — I promise.

Featured image via Matheus Bertelli on Pexels


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