“When are you going to get into a relationship? When are you going to settle down? ”

For as long as I can remember, that’s all I’ve ever heard. It’s the only thing that people want to know. My family, my friends and even acquaintances seem to only care about who I am dating.

And, to be honest, I am getting tired of all these questions! It makes me wonder if that’s the only thing people can think to ask me when we talk. It’s like I have a sign on my forehead that says ‘I need someone because I feel incomplete.’

“Do you like someone?” they ask. “You should go out and meet people.” they propose. “We’ll find someone for you,” they push. It’s as if looking for someone should be my top priority and being by myself is not enough. It’s as if doing what I want to do and working on my dreams is insignificant.

Every time I try to make an effort for myself, people seem to think it’s for someone else. Is it so wrong that I may be doing something for myself because I want to improve who I am and I want to be better? They think that a relationship is what I need right now, but in reality, they are only making me feel worse about myself.

I know I’m not lacking, but they make me feel that I am.

Sure, if I’m being honest, there are times when I wonder if I will ever have someone by my side because let’s face it, who doesn’t want to feel love? Everyone wants that happily ever after whether they admit it or not. I want to feel that, too, but right now I am choosing myself first.

I’m trying to learn how to accept myself as I am before anything else. I want to only be with someone once I finally know how to fully love myself! When I no longer feel the need for anyone’s validation, when I am genuinely happy with myself and with what I am doing.

Don’t look at me like there’s something wrong with me. I am whole. I am not incomplete and I am not broken. Therefore,I am done letting you define me. Who I am right now is enough.

And when that time comes when I finally meet someone, I’ll make sure that the choice to be with him is because I want to and not because somebody forces me to.

But right now, I’m the one I should love.

Featured Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
Previously published on
Thought Catalog

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