In a time where you feel your relationship slipping away from your tight grip, there are many options of how you can handle it. Most times rather than none you become so desperate to hold onto something that feels so good to you that you spend your precious time trying to convince them to love you. But there’s something you should really do instead of convincing them to stay—let them leave.
And, while you let them leave, leave everything alone for a bit. The distance will make everything a little easier to work through. It won’t be as intense or painful, but calming. And, it will allow you to make fresh new starts, changes you’ve been desperately searching for an excuse to start and will allow you to move on as the other person has.
Allow yourself to grow and make peace with yourself. That other person won’t mean the same to you as you won’t mean the same to them in time. Chances are if the other person you once loved is choosing to leave, you probably didn’t do anything to cause them to leave, especially if you didn’t see it coming. So why not focus on yourself for a bit?
Reflect on the past, allow yourself to think about what would happen if you were to have things happen with them just one more time. Think about what would happen if you got another shot with them and realize it’s not your decision to make. It’s not your fault, your heart is broken and you feel defeated at life. Allow yourself to dwell on it for a while and reflect, but then close the book and move on when the time is right.
It is what it is and you can’t change it no matter how many times you have cried yourself to sleep praying they’d love you back.
Commit to yourself, hear the hope behind everyone’s well wishes and take your baby steps as needed. Take those deep breaths in moments you feel the tears swelling behind your eyes. Pour yourself that glass of wine and cut another piece of cake. Call your best friends over for a movie night just so you don’t feel alone. Do what you feel is necessary for you to move on and allow yourself to grow.
Put your phone down more often instead of creeping their social media accounts or looking for a notification with their name on it. Practice saying, “I’m okay,” even though you feel your entire world falling apart as we speak. Pray that someone better will come along because you know that will eventually happen when the time is right. Feel bittersweet about the relationship ending, feel betrayed, and feel hopeful for your future.
Everything happens for a reason and this is probably the best thing for you right now. It’ll hurt, and it’ll suck but the outcome will be better because you’ll be focusing on yourself rather than on another person. Step into yourself in your new life and learn how to live, feel, breathe and love again.
Instead of convincing the person who broke your heart to love you remember all of the reasons why it will never work. They have flaws you must’ve hated; focus on those deal breakers and let it anger you a bit. They didn’t text you enough or communicate clearly, they never gave you a straight answer other than “if you want”, and they probably didn’t compliment you enough either. You want someone who will compliment you, make you feel wanted and appreciated, and emphasize on all of your great qualities, not someone who will leave you questioning everything all the time.
Photo by Janis Dzenis on Unsplash