This one is for the girls who want to be independent, but need a little help. For the girls who couldn’t wait to be living on their own, but call their parents crying when they find a bug in their new apartment. To those who go to buy their own groceries, then call their parents to ask where the vegetarian frozen section is in Wal-Mart. To the girls who call their parents asking why their dishwasher is overflowing with suds, come to find out they used dish soap instead of dish detergent… (Oops).
It’s okay. You’re trying.
First off, let’s take a second to be thankful for cell phones. AND parents. But when does this end? And by this I mean being an adult, living on your own, and STILL feeling as though you are relying on your parents. I have recently found myself questioning if and when I will ever become independent and how I will be able to have children of my own one day if I can’t even get myself together. After putting some thought into it, I have come to the conclusion that it doesn’t end, no matter how old you are. Maybe you will always need someone else to come kill the bug in your living room (metaphorically speaking) but this doesn’t mean that you are not independent. Independence is a process. You live and learn, and as you learn, you become more and more independent.
We live in a world full of expectations. As college students, most of our days and weeks consists of going to school, doing homework, going to work, studying, going back to school, and so it goes. Get good grades, pay your rent, maintain a social life, and find time to exercise. But it doesn’t end here. Now we have to do our laundry, make our own meals, do the dishes, buy groceries, keep up with cleaning, etc. All these things we never really thought about when we lived at home. Not that our parents didn’t prepare us properly, we just didn’t realize that one day, these tasks will no longer be considered chores anymore, but mandatory duties. Well, maybe we did, but it doesn’t truly hit until it’s actually happening. I can’t forget to mention the emotional stress that already comes along with being a girl. This itself is tough stuff.
Here’s my advice: give yourself a break.
You don’t have to have your whole life together. How should you know where the vegetarian section is in Wal-Mart, anyways? Geez. But really, you are doing fine. There is no need to stress over needing help and guidance; you are NOT the only one. I believe part of truly becoming independent is realizing that it is okay to need and to accept help.
It’s just like learning to walk. As babies, we think we’re ready to go straight from crawling to walking, but we find this isn’t the case. Although we are now adults, we are in the midst of taking those “baby” steps. Walking the path to the world of independence. Just like everything, one step at a time. This big world can be intimidating, but all that matters is that you’re doing your best. Be proud of how far you’ve already come, rather than stressing over where you aren’t. Think of yourself at the point in-between crawling and walking.
Don’t rush it. You WILL get there. One day, you’ll be getting phone calls from your college kids to come kill the bug in their new apartment.