Relationships are not easy. You start with the most loved filled days; those were nothing can go wrong. Unfortunately, the boring everyday life will hit your path soon and things can start to seem more troubling. No matter how much you love your partner, getting comfortable in a relationship can happen and it can lead to you doubting the viability of your journey together. How do you know the relationship is on a healthy footing and the future ahead of you continues to look bright? What are the relationship must-haves that are worth fighting for?
How do you know the relationship is on a healthy footing and the future ahead of you continues to look bright? What are the relationship must-haves that are worth fighting for?
A healthy dose of self-acceptance
Love is an essential part of a solid relationship. But it’s not as much about the love you have for your partner, but rather your ability to love and accept yourself. If you are okay with yourself and you know your darkest fears and passions inside out, it’s much easier for your partner to love you as well. Self-doubt can be much more damaging to your relationship than doubting your loved one. The old saying that you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else is certainly true.
An important element of self-love is also the ability to stand on your own two feet. While you definitely should love spending time with your partner, moments of loneliness can’t throw you off. You need to be able to spend time away from your partner and other people – the ability to put on a Spotify playlist and dance in your pajamas with a smile on your face when no one’s around is a good one.
A proper level of trust and respect
You also need to learn to trust your partner. This is easier to do once you are both comfortable in your skins because it ensures you know who the other person is. You can trust their word and you know their personality wouldn’t do this or get involved with that. Likewise, your self-acceptance and confidence will tell your partner that he/she can trust you.
Respect goes hand in hand with trust. It adds maturity and closeness to your relationship. Respect is not about agreeing or always seeing things eye-to-eye. It’s about allowing the other person to make his/her journey and respecting the choices he/she makes.
An open and honest communication
All relationships require communication and almost all conflicts happen because there is a breakdown in communication. To keep your relationship healthy, you need to establish a conversation that goes both ways and is always built on respect and honesty. While learning to listen is an important skill, you definitely need to pay attention to how you talk as well.
Remember that it’s nearly impossible to avoid fights and disagreements. The key is to knowing how to fight well – to being honest, staying fair, and being accountable. Don’t ever get to the point where you are just putting things off. Solve your issues as soon as possible, but not in the heat of the moment.
A lot of time together
You also need to spend time together. This isn’t the time you spend sleeping in the same room or eating breakfast in silence. You actually need to spend the time focused on each other, doing things you find interesting, exciting and new. If you don’t do things together, you can start drifting apart and the time you spend together becomes more about friendship than love.
So, book a holiday with James Villas or take a cooking course together. Play video games with your partner or start a new TV show that’s just about the two of you spending time together.
A spiced-up sex life
Good relationships need sex. The type of sex or the amount of sex that is sufficient naturally depends on the couples. There is no ‘ideal’ amount of times you need to get it on during the week. But if you can’t talk about sex, or be intimate in different ways, your relationship is unlikely to work in the long run.
When times goes on, your sex life is going to change. Instead of settling in and accepting things as they are, you should continue to challenge each other and spice it up. This could be about shopping for sex toys or lingerie at Ann Summers or trying out different times or positions. The key is to ensure you don’t stop talking about the intimate things.
A shared approach to money
Aside from sex, money is often a deal-breaker in relationships. We are so uncomfortable when talking about money – even with the closest and dearest to us. Yet, you’d find it hard to live without it and in a relationship, it’s important that both people have a shared approach to spending and acquiring it.
The Daily Worth recommends talking about money as soon as your relationship gets serious. You need to decide to what extent do you feel comfortable sharing the money, what do you do when you need to spend it on shared things and the value you put on things like free-time, career and so on? Solving these issues and being open about money will help solve a lot of problems before they even occur.
If you find your partner and you from the above list, then your relationship is off to a great start. If not, then focus on the relationship-must-have to have a healthier partnership.