Dating is hard. Sometimes, it’s macaroni-and-cheese-left-out-overnight kind of hard.
Trying to find someone you’re not only attracted to but who also treats you right seems impossible, especially when you have your friends and family pointing out all of this person’s red flags and flaws.
When we think we have found the “perfect one,” it seems as if there’s at least 20 pounds of baggage that comes along with them.
When you start to fall for someone, no matter how crazy your relationship may be, it’s hard to see the truth beneath all the messy bed sheets and empty bottles of wine.
But there are some types of relationships you just have to avoid.
1. The Controller
If your man or woman is constantly trying to control your every move, run. No one needs to be told what to do and when to do it, and the right person would never put you on a leash. (I may be a b*tch, but I’m certainly not a dog.)
If you’re with someone who tries to control your every move, there’s just no point in staying around. This person will have something to say about what you wear out with your girls and what places you go to. Often times, these kinds of people can hinder your growth.
One of my friends didn’t take a great job just because her boyfriend thought there were too many male employees at the company. It was the biggest mistake of her life.
2. The Debbie Downer
If they’re always looking on the negative side of things, how are you ever going to have a positive relationship? These kind of people not only suck the fun out of life, but they also drain the shit out of you.
Always having to be around someone who is super negative and always complaining makes life less enjoyable.
You have to be with the kind of people who find the rainbow at the end of the rainstorm and the silver lining in even the worst of days. You don’t need someone who is going to point out everything that went wrong and how it went wrong. (I’m cynical enough for the both of us.)
3. The Liar
If he or she to their parents, he or she will lie to you (even if it’s about not eating the rest of your Ben & Jerry’s).
Never trust a liar. It’s important in any relationship that honesty is on the forefront, for the big and the small things. If someone is able to easily lie to his or her friends and family, what’s to say he or she isn’t lying to you, too?
You don’t want to be the kind of person sneaking through someone’s Facebook messages and cell phone while he or she is asleep. If you ever end up being that type of person, run as fast as you can away from this relationship.
4. The Perfectionist
Bottom line? You’ll never be good enough. No matter how thin you are, how great you can cook or how crazy you can throw down in the bedroom, a perfectionist will always find something wrong with you.
If this person can’t do things well enough for him or herself, you’ll never be able to do anything well enough, either.
You shouldn’t want to spend your time with someone who is constantly making you change to best fit his or her needs. The only standards you should be holding yourself to are yours.
5. The Manipulator
This person is only working on things on his or her terms, not your terms. These kind of people seriously f*ck with your head, to the point where you’re unsure of what is even going on anymore.
You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t have the courage to ask you things upright and outright.
If this person has to play games with you, strike him or her out of your life for good.
6. The Cheater
Need I say more? If someone cheats on you, not only does this person have no respect for him or herself, he or she also has no respect for you. You should never waste even a second of your day on someone who doesn’t value you.
7. The Binge Drinker
Sure, we all love a bottle of wine or seven on a Friday night, but if your partner is always drunk, how will you ever know if you’re right for each other sober? Sure, drinking with your significant other is a blast, but if you can’t catch him or her sober at least one weekend of the month, your relationship isn’t going to have much substance.
And it’s probably not going to have great sex, either.
8. The Crazy Competitor
It’s supposed to be a team effort, not a competition. If your partner is always trying to one-up your accomplishments instead of congratulating you on them, it’s unhealthy and unfair.
A couple should be building together. They should support each other and nurture each others’ growth as individuals. You shouldn’t have to feel like your accomplishments are diminished due to someone else’s need to shine.
9. The Abuser
If your partner ever puts a hand on you, you better put some cuffs on your partner. Never let anybody put his or her hands on you.
10. The Insecure One
This person will always be jealous and always blame you. Jealousy can be sexy, sometimes. But when insecurity often comes into play, this person will try to make it out like you’re some crazy basket case planning to leave him or her tomorrow, and get back with your ex’s best friend who lives across the country.
Yeah, we’ve all had one of those relationships. If your partner isn’t confident in him or herself, you and your relationship, it won’t be long before he or she is looking through your phone.