Cheating is something I unapologetically frown upon. I know, I know, every situation is different and some people ‘have their reasons,’ but I just don’t care. Listen, nobody’s perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But when people proudly speak of their history of cheating, blaming it on them ‘not wanting to stick to one person,’ I literally want to scream.
This is not an attack on those who don’t believe in monogamy. If you’re in an open relationship, high five. If you’re polyandrous, all the respect to you. Sister Wives, I got you. Each to their own. You all live in your own truth, and that’s the point. Whereas open relationships are about honesty, cheating most certainly is not.
If you Can’t Stay with one person, why be in an exclusive relationship ?
Often people proudly speak about not believing in monogamy, all whilst being in a monogamous relationship…why? If you are so proud, why do you choose to be dishonest with your partner? If you are so sure, why do you cheat behind their back? If you are so f*cking convinced, then why are you wasting their time?
If you believe humans can’t be monogamous surely that’s something your partner should be aware of. Stealing someone’s heart and more importantly their time is nothing short of cruel. It may be hard but being upfront with someone is necessary.
The way you treat your partner is unfair. While you are mentally and physically fulfilled by many, you expect your partner to be fulfilled by you alone. You may not believe in monogamy, but you both want and expect it. You decide not to be honest because being honest would allow your partner to do the same to you, and that sort of equality just doesn’t fly for you, does it?.
I’m sure that there are a few cheaters who would be fine with their partner doing the rounds. Not everyone is selfish, some people are just afraid. You can love someone whilst feeling as though you can’t possibly be completely fulfilled by them. The fear of losing that love can be overwhelming to the point that deception seems like the best option…but, it’s not.
Yes, you’re partner may leave you when they find out that they’ll never be your only lover…deal with it. If you truly love someone, why not save him or her the inevitable heartbreak and be open with them.
Unless you are willing to commit, there’s a good chance that at some point your partner will find out. At that point not only would you have caused mass devastation, but you’ll also be guilty of stealing away years of their life that they’ll never EVER get back. Years that they could have been spent doing literally anything other than being lied to by YOU.
In your quest to hold on to someone who could not handle your way of life, you’ve punished them for your weakness, and hurt them because of your fear.
“I lied because I loved you. I didn’t want to lose you. I just didn’t know how to tell you.” None of these excuses fly. Regardless of your reasons for deception, you have caused someone a lifetime of trust issues for essentially nothing.
Being CHEATED on isn’t a momentary blip in life; it’s a life-altering event.
The trust issues that present themselves are something that one has to struggle to overcome, with some unable to ever truly let their guards down again. Opening your heart to someone and being completely open with them only to find out that they’ve not offered you the same decency is soul destroying. Finding out that those precious moments of intimacy that were world revolving and one of a kind for you were merely one of many to the person who claimed to LOVE you is enough to change your entire outlook on love.
You see, cheating on someone is not simply about you, and your feelings. It doesn’t just end when things come out, and the truth is revealed. The aftermath is on-going and painful, and the spineless justification of not believing in monogamy is no excuse for the pain caused. So if you can’t commit to one person, own it. It may be harder to find someone, but surely it’s better to be with someone who knows and consents to your lifestyle than entrapping someone with your cowardly lies and deceit. Be yourself, but be open about it.
Featured Image via We Heart It.