“Be you, everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde
Sound about right, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, we can all agree that we’re our own worst enemy. We’re afraid of falling in love to avoid rejection. We push people away from us to avoid heartbreak. We’re afraid of failing so we never even try.
We’re afraid – and that’s okay.
We wouldn’t be human if we had no fear. We’ve all had our ups and downs, heartbreaks and joys. But there are still so many things we fail to realize.
So let me shed some light into the things every 20-something needs to start understanding:
1. There will always be something you won’t be good at.
Sorry to break it to you, but you’re never going to be good at everything. You may be the world’s best surgeon, but can’t cook to save your own life. You may be the world’s brightest student, but can’t swim even in the shallowest of pools. My point is, you can’t be the best at everything. Some things take more time for you than others, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a human being – it just makes you human.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
We all know comparing ourselves is pointless, but whether we like it or not, we do it anyway. I can stare at the cover of vogue and wonder why I don’t look like her. I work my ass off for a business project and fail to do it better than my co-worker. At the end of the day, we’re all human and it’s completely normal to want something others have. My advice, before thinking about the things you don’t have (like Channing Tatum as your husband, a silhouette like Naomi Campbell, or a million dollar company like Facebook), consider the things you do have.
Gratitude is a powerful thing, and the more you start focusing on what you do have – the less you think of what you don’t.
3. Being a perfectionist is a like being on a highway to hell.
I’ve experienced countless of sleepless nights and anxiety because I believed in the concept of perfection. To save you from making the same mistakes, I need you to understand one thing only: There is no perfection. Honestly, I don’t even know why this word even exists. The definition of perfect is entirely up to you.
4. Depression is a slippery road.
No one’s immune to sadness, especially if it hits you like a wave at sea – unexpectedly and with great force. What we tend to fail to understand is that you’re allowed to feel sad. We all experienced struggles – no matter how small they seem to others. Unfortunately, we tend to be more prone to dark emotions than happy ones. The key here is to realize you’re not alone, and talking about it isn’t a crime – it’s even applauded. You will fall, but it’s always up to you to pull yourself back up.
5. Not everyone will like you.
Growing up I strongly believed that if someone wasn’t fond of me, I was doing something wrong. And I couldn’t be happier to have grown out of my fourteen-year-old naive and insecure self. Wanting to be liked is something we all desire, but the leaders of today are not where they are without stepping on many toes in the process.
As Eminem once said, “If you don’t have enemies in this world that means you’ve never stood up for something. “
6. Unplugging from time to time is necessary.
The average individual takes approximately 30 seconds to connect to their phones when they first wake up. Instead of meditating, cooking breakfast, or simply enjoying the mornings, we end up staring at our phones, wondering what we’ve missed throughout the night.
Do yourself a favor and put down the phone. Look around you at the things your phone can’t show you. The smile on your sibling’s face, looking at the sky, or simply admiring the world’s beauty will change your day instantly.
7. You can’t write a book from a single page.
For those of you obsessed with Orange Is the New Black, there is one thing Alex always said that made perfect sense:
“At least you’ll have a story.”
Spend time with the people you love and do things your heart tells you do – no matter what others think. Every moment is precious – so why waste it?
At the end of the day, would you rather say ‘oops’ or ‘what if’? It’s your story. Your life. Your decisions. Let your past make you better, not bitter.