We’re all conditioned to believe that the ideal guy is the one with the flashy smile, charming personality, and line of girls begging for his attention. We follow the herd toward the obnoxious jerks who hold the longest keg stand at a party and the ones who shower us with compliments at the bar in exchange for a five minute make out session before they are on to the next one. More often than not, these are the cheaters, the one night stands and the oh-so-familiar guys with “plenty of other options.” It’s time we considered the introvert that stands on the sidelines of a game of beer-pong with the quiet but witty observations. Here’s why it’s time to take a stand for the quiet guys:
- He gets out of his comfort zone for you in a way that he wouldn’t for just anybody. Although it may feel like an eternity to get him to open up, when he does – he’ll share with you the deepest corners of his mind and you’ll feel a level of trust that breaks down the wall you built after your last heartbreak.
- He’s patient. He’ll listen to you rant for hours about whether you should change your hairstyle, how your roommate can really be a bitch sometimes, and the endless anxiety you face when you need to finish that English paper that’s due tomorrow. Through all the overreactions and stress, he will be there to hold your hand and tell you in a few, but meaningful words “it’ll all be okay.”
- He’s not caught up on the past. He doesn’t mind how many people you’ve been with, and he won’t brag about how many he has either. Your skeletons are not something that he will ever hold against you, and he’ll be content with as many details as you choose to share. To him, the present and the future should be the focus of your relationship.
- He pays attention to the little things. When you’re dating a quiet guy, he may not bring you flowers to work or impress your parents with his ability to crack a joke on demand; but he has his moments. When he shows up with that single red rose ‘just because’ or brings you coffee at the library in the middle of exam season, he’s showing you that he cares. Without the fireworks and extravagant events, he stands out and you’ll learn to value the little things he does for you every day.
- He’s mysterious. He doesn’t show off his life to everyone on a silver platter. You get the opportunity to unveil a new quality about him every day. He’s sexy, broody, and pensive like that longing fantasy of Christian Grey that’s been hovering in your mind.
- He challenges you. You learn to be a better person for him. You learn to slow down your words, listen to his opinion and value his presence. He’ll question you and you’ll have to prove to him that you won’t hurt him. He’ll give you a bit of that chase that we all know you’ve been craving.
- He’s private. There’s no need to broadcast your relationship on social media, and no pressure to know each other’s phone pass-codes. You trust one another and that’s all that matters.
- He observes. Unlike the guys you’ve been with who claim to know your favorite color, movie and middle name until he’s put on the spot blankly praying he’ll get lucky with a guess. He really does know. He listens to what you’re saying and knows you even better than you know yourself at times.
- He celebrates your independence. This quiet man will never push you into the shadows. He encourages you to shine and supports your every success.
- He allows you to bring out the ‘not-so-quiet’ in him! Being your outgoing, spontaneous self is exactly what he needs. He lives for the excitement and energy you bring to the table and with this balance, you two are sure to light sparks every day as if it were your first date.
- He surprises you. He’s brilliant, and the more time you spend with him the more you learn about that indie rock band that’s super catchy, but totally hipster. His manhood may try to fool you by saying he lives for sports and video games but there’s much more to this guy. He’s read a library of novels, can recite Radiohead lyrics without hesitation, and his copious knowledge of the stars will intrigue you. He’ll amaze you with his passion for art, movies, and his nerdy excitement over the stock market. There’s always something new to learn from this guy, and although at face value it may not show, he’s got it all.
- He’s easy to be around. Life with your guy should be comfortable and you should never feel self-conscious if you choose to ditch the makeup or show up in sweats. He likes you for who you are and won’t create an atmosphere where you feel pressure.
- He’s trustworthy. He’s not one to gossip and provides you the safest vault for all of your darkest secrets.
- He’s calm. He’s an old soul who prefers to spend his Saturday night’s watching documentaries and sipping on dark roast coffee. Sweating the small stuff is not his style, and he’ll be sure to level out your emotions when you feel overwhelmed. As he whispers softly in your ear and traces pictures lightly on your back, you’ll feel like you’ve landed in a relaxing five-star spa in no time.
- He teaches you to value what’s really important. He will be your best friend, companion, your main supporter, and your biggest advocate. He’s in it for the long run, will be quirky, nervous, and stumble across the right words from time to time. But lucky for you, it’s not always about what he says. It’s about the way he looks at you when you aren’t aware, or how he talks about you to his mom and friends. It’s those photos he snaps of you in the most honest of smiles, and the way he makes your heart race out of control.
It can be easy to get lost in the eyes of smooth talkers, head turners, and the social celebrities of your town, but don’t let the boisterous personality of a guy in the spotlight lure you into a toxic relationship. If you take the time to get to know a quiet guy, his unassuming charm could sweep you off your feet. We’re all looking for that special someone who brings butterflies to our belly, and keeps us on our toes. With a crooked smile and socially awkward wave, this dream guy could be right in front of you. It’s time to give up on the guys who make us feel like a number, stop making excuses for why they deserve our affection and give the quiet guys a chance! He’s cute and endearing, so make the first move before you realize that you lost a diamond while collecting stones.
Featured Image by Leo Hidalgo.