I will be the first to admit that men have given women plenty of reasons to have bad habits in relationships. But there are plenty of things women do in relationships that create problems or hold them back. I understand they are hard to break, but enough is enough with the childish excuses or games.
Stop saying “He’ll Think I’m Annoying.”
A big mistake in a lot of relationships is women not wanting to come off as too strong or show the fear of thinking they’re annoying. By holding off on saying certain things to him or doing particular things will only create a red flag. How will it look if seven months down the road you suddenly express that it makes you really upset to not hear from him once when he’s out with his friends? He’s going to think this insecurity (if that’s what you want to call it) is new and will wonder what’s wrong, or when he finds out you’ve been holding that back, it’ll seem like you can’t be honest with him.
You shouldn’t be afraid to say what upsets you. Relationships flourish with trust and comfort.
Stop refusing to contact him first.
Unless he royally, and I mean royally messed up, don’t wait around for his text. Showing effort is attractive, and after times get tough men often appreciate it when you make the first move instead of acting like a pissy baby. Relationships are built on communication, and, the sooner you talk about these issues the better. Obviously, give them space if they need it, but don’t sit there and sulk while he pisses you off even more by not messaging you. If you want to talk to a person, just talk to them. And if they do not wish to speak to you back, it’s their problem, not yours.
Stop saying you don’t want to seem crazy.
First of all, you’re a woman, so you’re automatically considered crazy by him. Second, have you ever thought that if you seem insane, then he knows you care? It’s like the first point about not wanting to appear annoying. If he pisses you off, put him in his damn place and don’t let his actions slide. Don’t fear that “crazy” title if being “crazy” keeps you sane.
Stop saying “the man should be the man.”
I’m only going to sum this up with one point, you don’t need a man to do shit for you because you’re a strong independent woman. Take matters into your own hands, be your own form of strength and support and don’t expect him to do everything for you. You don’t need to criticize him for being too much of a man or not man enough, accept them for who they are and don’t forget to take charge of your own life.
It’s about damn time that women stop playing the childish little games that men play but in different forms. You can’t expect a mature relationship if you’re still focused on these stupid problems that shouldn’t really matter. Don’t let societal judgments or preconceived notions restrict you from how you interact with others. Do this for your damn self.
Feature image via Marita Sürma