We need to redefine independence. The truth is, no one is entirely independent.
Let me explain. I am independent; however, due to my disability, people don’t see me as independent. Rather, they tell me how I should or could be more independent compared to others.
We praise those who are independent, but no one is independent all the time. And we shouldn’t always feel the need to be independent. However, since society continues to encourage this mindset, everyone is shifting towards hyper-independence.
Hyper-independent people think that they can do everything without asking for anyone’s help.
They don’t feel ashamed of asking for help; they just feel like no one can match their level of task completion. Hyper-independent individuals feel the need to do things on their own.
But we never work entirely alone in life. Work projects involve a team of people who collaborate to complete the job. In school or college, yes, you may complete your homework independently, but you also have teachers and counselors available to help you through it. There are countless other examples, including celebrities and professionals such as doctors, CEOs, and parents.
Not every single one got to where they are today by themselves. They learned and leaned on others and will continue to lean on people to get to where they want to be in their lives; that is the way it should be.
Redefining independence is something that, as individuals and society, we don’t dream of doing. Why? Because we don’t want to; it’s easier and less disappointing if we do it that way. This way, we can let ourselves down rather than someone letting us down.
Until we reach the point of letting our guards down and considering this change, nothing will happen for us as a society. It all has to happen individually first, then as a society, that shift will hopefully start to happen.
From a very young age, people teach us about independence and how we all need to be this way. We are not wrong; we do, to some extent.
But hyper-independence comes at the cost of burnout, both physically and mentally.
I believe that’s why we don’t change the fact that we’re doing things all on our own, because, at some point in our lives, we were told or shown by people we love that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
To anyone who has heard that or said that to themselves, I am so sorry you have felt so alone that you feel like it’s all on you and your shoulders to carry whatever you are
You know the saying: ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ I am going to take it a step further: it takes a village to redefine independence and what it means for your life and society as a whole.
There are people in your village ready to help you; you just have to be prepared and willing to accept the help they offer without changing it or making it into something else. It’s about redefining what it means to be independent whenever you want it to be.
Photo by Dmitry Shamis on Unsplash
