How My Horrible Sexual Encounter Made Me Never Want Another One Night Stand

It was a beautiful, hot summer day and my girlfriends and I thought it would be a great idea to have some drinks in my backyard and soak up some sun, blast music, and dance like idiots.

But as the day went on, we spontaneously decided it would be an even better idea to go downtown to Toronto. After a few drinks in the sun, we were a bit dizzy, so we thought it was time to stumble into our summer dresses and head to the train station. We arrived in Toronto and headed straight to a patio (typical). Of course, we enjoyed a few more drinks and thought an even better idea would be to head to the strip club – the women’s strip club. Now that was blurry, but I remember being in there for a few hours just having the time of my life with my girlfriends because it was so out of the blue and unlike us. And to be quite honest, we had no idea it would be open on a Tuesday…

So after that, we headed back outside and wandered the streets and made some friends. It wasn’t until we literally stumbled into a band playing, with a pretty large audience, did we really start to have some fun. We mingled with everyone around us, and I met him. At the time he seemed pretty good-looking, I was drunk, he was nice, so naturally, the girls and I invited the “friends” we made to a bar and we all had a few more drinks. Needless to say, about ten minutes later I ran to the washroom and was throwing up.

I can’t even count how many tequila shots I did.

I also have no idea how I was able to (somewhat) walk and hold a conversation. So I cleaned up my mouth, threw a piece of gum in and continued on, as all us ladies do.

It is obvious at this point that I have had a fair amount to drink and apparently having such a stimulating conversation, that I agreed to go “home” with this guy. And to this day I can’t even remember his name…awkward. A bit slutty on my part, but I had just gotten out of a relationship and I was out with the girls so I thought, what better a time, right? Anyways, I pulled my girlfriends aside and let them know I will be leaving with him. They were a bit worried at first, but I had my phone nearby and told them I would call or shoot them a text if I had a bad feeling. So I hopped in his car, and little did I know he lived about 30 miles or so…I was clearly not thinking.

I briefly remember going to a bar that his friend owned, I ordered so much food you would’ve thought I was Buddy the Elf. We didn’t stay there too long though, we left in about an hour and went to what I thought was his house, but was actually his parents. So uncomfortable. I was actually told to be “quiet” walking in the door since his parents were sleeping. Keep in mind this guy is 28 years old and I was completely under the impression he lived alone. Regardless, we get up to his room and I decided to use his washroom. I looked down and remembered oh my god.

I hadn’t shaved anything in so long.

I had gotten out of a relationship a month or two before so I forgot what it was like to be always prepared and ready! I drunkenly decided it would be best to start the shower, hop in and start shaving. My legs, my under arms, my everything… He actually ended up coming into the washroom and asked what I was doing. I was so drunk and not even thinking, I popped out from the shower and literally told him what I was doing. And he STILL wanted me. Weirdo, for sure.

I step out of the washroom and walk to his bedroom. At this point I am just exhausted (from all that shaving) and so thankful to see a bed. But as I lay down and turn to my side, he comes close to me and spoons me. Of course I felt something hard against my back and I guess I was kind of turned on. He started kissing my neck and one thing led to another. I remember it being quick because I managed to stay awake for it. It was nothing special, nothing to brag about, just a simple(ish) one night stand.

The next morning I woke up to all these juvenile posters, mainly of half-naked girls and some superheros and just thought for a second, where the hell am I? Reality sunk in and I really beat myself up. What was I doing at a complete stranger’s place. It was messy and dirty and just all around not like me. I got up and went to the washroom. By the time I got back, whoever “he” was, was up. I kid you not, I have made some mistakes in my life, but holy hell was this guy an unfortunate looking one. He wasn’t absolutely brutal, I am being a little dramatic, but I was just appalled that I set my standards that low. I could not wait to get the hell out of there. He was really nice, but that’s about it. To this day I can’t believe I decided HE would be a good idea.

Poor me.

He ended up driving me all the way home and I remember the completely awkward silence in the car. It felt like a 5 hour car ride… It was the most uncomfortable encounter I have had so far (but I will keep you posted). I finally got home, hopped out of the car so quickly and just never looked back. Never got his name, deleted his number (it was in my phone as Toronto…) and just looked at it as a lesson learned. Looking back I am still shocked at what I was thinking. I can’t blame my friends too much because they probably had their drunk goggles on too. But I must admit, I got very lucky. I barely knew this guy and went home with him without hesitation. Without letting anyone know my whereabouts. It could’ve ended badly for me and I am disappointed in myself to this day, but I am forever grateful that this was a lesson learned. Needless to say, I will not be doing that ever again.

Featured image via Barbara Ines.

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