Whether you’re a person with a disability like me, or need aide care for any reason, short-term or lifelong, needing help is normal. Everyone needs it now and then.
There is a common stereotype around people who provide this kind of care; they are seen as selfless, sacrificing people who dedicate themselves to helping others. And that is very true. I am not here to argue against that.
But what if we flipped the perspective for a moment? While we recognize aides for the work they do, what about the contributions of the people they care for?
You might be wondering what I mean by that. Let me explain.
I have relied on aides for all my adult life and will continue to need them for most of my basic needs for the rest of my life. I am incredibly grateful for everything they do–I wouldn’t be as independent as I am without them.
That said, in my experience, I have often found myself accommodating their needs just as much as they accommodate me. Both of my current aides have families with young children. When they need to adjust their schedules–whether for a school event, a doctor’s appointment, or just quality time with their kids–they ask me about my daily routine. Can I adjust my afternon bathroom schedule? Can I get up earlier on a particular day?
And whenever possible, I do.
Yes, they are my aides. Yes, they work for me. But they are human beings, not robots or servants. They have families, and I want them to enjoy that time while their kids are still young.
I don’t think aides realize how much the people they care for do for them in return. Whether it be managing our weight so we can be lifted safely or adjusting our routines to accommodate their personal lives, the dynamic goes both ways.
I believe as people with disabilities, myself included, make these sacrifices to maintain a stable and positive caregiving relationship. Reliable aides are invaluable, and we do what we can to keep that support system intact.
This isn’t about whether it’s right or wrong–it’s just reality. People with disabilities aren’t angels for needing help, and aides aren’t saints for working with us. We are all just people, navigating a complex relationship that society often fails to see for what it truly is.
The prevailing narrative focuses only on what aides do for us, but it’s more complicated than that. Yes, they do a lot for us, but we also do a lot for them, even if they don’t always realize it.
I believe this happens because society still doesn’t see people with disabilities as full, independent individuals. In their eyes, we will always be big children, especially those that need more care.
It’s 2025. We are more than that, and it’s time for society–and even those who work for us–to recognize the mutual value we bring to each other.
When society starts to see this relationship between aides and the person they’re caring for, we will be better as a community of people with disabilities and as a whole.
Featured image via Raj Tuladhar on Unsplash
Understanding the needs of those who rely on aide care is essential. I’ve seen firsthand how compassionate, skilled caregivers improve 55 and older rv parks in Texas quality of life. It’s not just about assistance but also dignity, independence, and trust. Proper support, training, and patience make all the difference in ensuring the best possible care.
Understanding the needs of those who rely on aide care is essential. I’ve seen firsthand how compassionate, skilled caregivers improve 55 and older rv parks in Texas quality of life. It’s not just about assistance but also dignity, independence, and trust. Proper support, training, and patience make all the difference in ensuring the best possible care.