Why A New Relationship Won’t Heal Your Broken Heart

You probably chose to read this article because you just got out of a serious relationship. Whether it lasted a year or more, your heart is bruised.

It’s probably the lowest you’ve ever felt, the most depressed you’ve been, and the most hopeless you’ve ever felt. Obviously, no one likes experiencing heartbreak. So, it’s understandable if your first instinct is to ignore it. All you want is to be happy again and feel that high of being in love. So it makes sense to believe you might find it in a new relationship. But before you do that, you should ask your heart if it’s ready to work while it’s broken. You have to check your spirit if it’s willing to cover up the feeling of defeat. And make sure your thoughts aren’t bitter about the past, as they will affect the present.

I know heartache isn’t the greatest feeling to wake up to, nor is it ideal for performing your daily activities. But it does make you stronger — when you learn from it, it does make you wiser. And when you’re able to apply it, it does make you more powerful than you’d imagine.

Another person will not heal your broken heart. Another relationship will not erase the memories that haunt you when you’re alone. And a new life will not remove your previous one out of existence. Until you do the work.

Some of you may disagree as you might’ve found your true love after you left a serious relationship. It does happen. But not to most of us. What I’ve learned from my own heartbreak is that it’s the best moment to discover the greatest parts of yourself. Heartbreak teaches you your most genuine capabilities, the extent of your strength, and how beautiful your soul truly is. Heartbreak can turn pain into power, wounds into wisdom, and tragedies into triumphs.

Mending my own heart was not easy, as choosing to stay single felt discouraging at times. But it was worth it in the end. One year of seclusion was worth the outcome: fixing my broken heart. Three years of singleness was worth becoming a better version of me. And five years of waiting was worth meeting the right person for me.   

I am who I am today because of the opportunity I saw in my heartbreak. I found grace in my tears, love in the shattered pieces of my heart, and power in the pain I’ve endured. Other people are incapable of slaying your dragons, as they’re not theirs to fight. In the same way, a new relationship doesn’t have the capacity to make you happy — it’s your responsibility. Your heart needs to rest, your mind needs peace, and your spirit needs to heal.

Taking time for yourself after a breakup is probably the best decision you’ll make. It may get lonely, and you may be tempted to invest your time in someone who’s giving you attention. But I hope you know that you deserve the best, and sometimes it takes time to get there.  

Featured image via Roberto Nickson on Pexels

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