Picking out the right sex toy can be intimidating. For one, sex toys can be expensive. Many people are experiencing the pandemic financial squeeze so it’s hard to spend money. If the new toy doesn’t do it for you, or it’s not the right fit, you can’t send it back. Working up the courage to buy a sex toy might be hard for you in the first place. Not only is a quality sex toy an investment, but also there are other factors to consider. Do you need something quiet? What amount of stimulation are you looking for? What genitals do you have? Most importantly, does the product come in discreet packaging?
Pause. Take a step back. Think about the last time you had good sex. No, not that time. Think about really good sex. No, not that either — think about really, really good sex. Sex that made your eyes roll back, your toes cramp, and your back spasm.
When it comes to the best sex you’ve ever had, maybe a partner was involved or perhaps you were flying solo. Either way, there was something about that close encounter that sent you to the moon. The search for the perfect sex toy is your chance to bottle that mind-blowing sex and — if you’re lucky — make improvements. Even without a human connection, that same level of transcendence can be found when you’ve got the right toy (or several). An excellent place to start is thinking about erogenous zones.
First of all, you’ve got more than one or two erogenous zones.
The penis or clit, nipples, and anus are the obvious ones. But what about the belly, or the toes? How do you feel when you get your earlobes nibbled? You can’t buy a battery-powered ear-nibbler, but what about adding feathers to your pandemic sex play for some sexy ear tickles? Or, and hear me out now, a battery-powered toothbrush? When used safely, a soft-bristled brush can yield some mind-blowing results. Sable tipped paintbrushes can also be employed for fun sexy times.
The (ahem) hard truth is, in a pandemic, everything can look like a sex toy. You might have started to look at the vacuum cleaner tube in an entirely new and unholy light (though we hope not). Some household objects can be safely used as toys, but it’s much safer to leave the making of the sex toys up to the professionals. Toy shops help us find safe and sane pleasure outlets. A good sex toy isn’t just for the body. In stressful times, orgasms are good for the soul and mind. Solitude can drive us to seek more immediate, sensual experiences. Ironically, the middle of a pandemic is a great time to rediscover masturbation.
Take some time to get to know your body and start thinking of yourself as a sexual partner. If you already have a sexual partner, you can invite them over and go on this path of discovery together. Try reconnecting with your body as your partner helps you locate new erogenous zones and uncover new fantasies. For most adults, the days of sexual discovery can feel like a thing of the past. But right now you can commit to using this extra private time to rediscover your body. You might be surprised how many of your preferences have changed.
Don’t get yourself stuck believing that vibrators, butt plugs, and dildos are your only sex toy options. Those are classic, dependable toys.
There’s nothing wrong with a good butt plug. However, there’s a world of possibilities out there like clit, penis, and nipple pumps. There are also clit suction vibrators that simulate cunnilingus. If you have a penis, you might enjoy a pocket stroker or a cock ring (some of them vibrate!). And let’s not neglect the g-spot or the prostate! For the people who crave extra stimulation, there are clamps and weights and tools for self-flagellation. There are also toys for those who prefer the lighter touch, like tickling with feathers.
Whatever toy you wind up trying, know that it’s okay if the first one isn’t right for you. You just might need to use the toy in an unusual way or return to it later after more exploration. After all, you can always add to your collection. As your sex toys collection grows, make sure you include lube, that you wash your toys, and you have a safe, clean place to store everything. And if you think your toys are in a completely secure spot, you should do even more to hide them — unless you don’t mind having them on display because, after the pandemic, a house guest will absolutely find your favorite vibrator.
Most importantly, have fun with your exploration. Try things you’ve always been interested in but never had the confidence to pursue. Self-discovery isn’t a test, and there are no wrong answers. Every toy you try is a learning opportunity. And when you do find your perfect sex toy, your effort will have been worth the journey.